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‘Beach House’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Beach House

212. Beach House

Aired January 4, 2015

The squad are looking forward to spending the weekend at Charles' beach house on a detectives-only getaway, until Jake invites the Captain along. Meanwhile, Boyle helps Rosa send romantic texts to Marcus, while Gina tries to get Amy drunk for her own amusement.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

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Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Jake: You guys, this is gonna be fine. I mean Terry's our boss and he comes with us every year.
Sergeant Jeffords: Correction, you bring Vacation Terry, and he is no man's boss. When the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Very, very interesting. Guys, Captain Holt has no pants on.
Sergeant Jeffords: Umm, what?
Jake: He has no pants on is what. Here are the facts: At 11:55 AM, Captain Holt walked past us holding a hot bowl of soup. At 12:03 PM, I heard him yell. Then, at 12:07, he called Gina into his office. She entered holding nothing. One minute later she left holding an opaque bag.
Captain Holt's pants were in that bag. His knees are in the breeze. He's in his undies.

Quote from Scully

Hitchcock: Holt's the big fish we've been waiting for. We have an exciting investment opportunity to pitch him.
Jake: What?
Scully: It's an off-shore casino that's currently sunk off the coast of Delaware.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: I am dating his nephew. Now we are hanging out on weekends. What is next? Oh! Small talk.

Quote from Jake

Jake: We'll have two parties. A fun party down here with us, then an awkward, uncomfortable one in the living room with Holt. He doesn't even have to know about it. Separate parties.
Separate but equal.
Forget I said that phrase.

Quote from Amy

Jake: At least three of us must be in there at all times. It's not a party if there's not four people.
Amy: Especially between the sheets!

Quote from Jake

Jake: Amy, you gotta be glad Holt's here, right? I mean, you're basically in love with him.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Okay, we don't have much time. The Captain's in the bathroom and we all know how efficient he is in there.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Mommy is out of town and we are gonna party!
Gina: You call your ex-wife Mommy?
Charles: Not conciously.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I know they say it's not good to have a TV in the bedroom. Which is why I don't.

Quote from Scully

Jake: All right, anyone else have questions? Hitchcock, Scully, you've been weirdly silent.
Scully: We didn't want to say anything that would get us uninvited.

Quote from Hitchcock

Jake: Wow, without the bubbles you can really see everything.
Hitchcock: Eyes up here, Peralta.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Oh no, six drink Amy isn't fun. She's just sad. Damn it!

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I can't wait. This weekend, I am Vacation Terry. No kids. No responsibilities. I'm just a balloon floating in the great blue sky and I am untethered.

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