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‘Bad Beat’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Bad Beat

505. Bad Beat

Aired November 7, 2017

To track down the infamous arms dealer Dan "Daniel" Valdano (guest star David Figlioli), Jake and Terry go undercover at an illegal gambling club, but when Holt gets involved to coach the two in the art of poker, his addiction resurfaces. Meanwhile, Boyle buys a food truck that was formerly used in a brutal string of murders without telling his investor, Amy, and Hitchcock and Scully challenge Rosa to a "Butt-lympics".

Quote from Scully

Scully: I miss my home chair.
Rosa: You miss a chair?

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Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: And I win again. Which is not surprising, given how you are both terrible. You don't even know the terminology.
Jake: What are you talking about? "Hit me."
Captain Holt: That is blackjack.
Jake: Snake-eyes.
Captain Holt: Craps.
Jake: Go Fish.
Captain Holt: And I believe that is Go Fish.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Yes, yes, come to papa. Raise it a grand! Call. Raise. A pair of candy canes. I'm all in, baby.
Jake: What are you doing, sir?
Captain Holt: Working the case. Sharpening my poker skills for Valdano.
Jake: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and why are you watching this children's beauty pageant?
Captain Holt: For fun, obviously. No, Jayla, don't drop the baton. No, I had so much riding on you!

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Hot damn! Four queens. I call this hand the Golden Girls.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: Now go get Valdano before you blow your covers. I'm off duty; what I do on my own time is my own business. Unlike you two who are still on the clock and are now being bad cops.
Jake: Wow, listen to you talking all smooth. But you can't fool us, sir. You might as well face it. You're addicted to math. Robert Palmer.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: It was the "shouldn't've" that finally tipped me off. I've never heard you use a double contraction before.
Captain Holt: And you never will again.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Hey, standing desk. Look who's taking care of herself. Someone's not sitting down on the job.
Rosa: Hey. Sitting down on the job is damned hard work, and those heroes prove it every day. Mad respect.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. You know, for your hearts.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Damn, Cap. Are you secretly cool?
Captain Holt: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss cool.
Jake: I do not.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey there, Captain Holt. We just saved your big ol' butt. Hello, Dan "Daniel" Valdano. Guess what.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're a dick!


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