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21Quotes from ‘Ava’

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Ava

308. Ava

Aired November 22, 2015

Terry leaves Jake in charge of entertaining his pregnant wife, Sharon, while he and Rosa head to Rikers to learn more about the Douglass Street murders. But when Sharon's water breaks sooner than expected, crisis ensues at the precinct. Meanwhile, due to an internet outage, Amy and Charles must process all the paperwork by hand to avoid the bullpen from overflowing with perps and Holt is forced to confront his ex-boyfriend.

Quote from Gina

Jake: Hey, Gina. I need a top secret favor. Sharon is coming to the precinct and I need your help.
Gina: Uh, it better not be pregnancy-related, 'cause that crap is nasty.
Jake: The miracle of life?
Gina: Dress it up however you want, that's some disgusting animal kingdom nonsense.

Quote from Hitchcock

Scully: Hey, if you need more fax machines, there's a ton of them in that storage room where I go to take a nap.
Amy: What? Why didn't you say something?
Hitchcock: And once again, Hitchcock and Scully save the day.
Amy: You didn't do anything. It was all Scully.
Hitchcock: We're a package deal, everyone knows that.

Quote from Gina

Frederick: No, everything's fine, but I am a little concerned about Sharon's blood pressure. And this is a terrible environment.
Jake: I wouldn't call it terrible.
Frederick: We're surrounded by criminals, there's no bed, and you can hear the faint sound of someone screaming through all the vents.
Gina: That's Hitchcock. His arm's stuck in a pneumatic tube. It's hilarious.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Jake: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Quote from Hitchcock

Sergeant Jeffords: And Hitchcock and Scully, I assume you're here for some unrelated injury.
Hitchcock: That's correct.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sorry I got angry earlier. You did a great job today. Hospital was the right decision. I'm so glad you're Ava's godfather. I'm so glad you're Sharon's god-husband.
I'm so glad you're my god-wife. I have no idea what I'm saying at this point.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Okay, wait, you can't talk to her! Terry doesn't want you in there. You make her uncomfortable.
Captain Holt: I make her uncomfortable? Well, that's ridiculous. I should go confront her about this at length.

Quote from Charles

Charles: I mean, the problem is, we only have one fax machine, and it takes four minutes per page. It's Logjam City, Jake. Logjam City!

Quote from Gina

Sergeant Jeffords: Listen up. Diaz and I are going to Rikers to interview a guy we think has info on the Douglass Street murders.
Also, IT says the internet is down.
Gina: What? No! I had just clicked a link that said Balloon Boy grew up hot. Now I will never see those pictures.
Rosa: Can't you just use the internet on your phone?
Gina: Bitch, you know I'm out of data.

Quote from Captain Holt

Amy: Happy Thanksgiving, sir. This year, I'm more thankful than ever to have you as my Captain.
Captain Holt: And I'm thankful for the low price of gasoline.
Charles: And I'm thankful for the friendship-
Captain Holt: I think there's been a misunderstanding. There's no time for everyone to have a turn.
Charles: But I'm the only one that didn't get to-
Captain Holt: Boyle.

Quote from Jake

Sharon: Guys, my water just broke.
Jake: Don't worry about that, we'll just get you another one.
Oh, you mean your body water! That's much worse.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I'm fine. I'm getting a lot of work done here at Gina's desk. It's wonderful. She has all my favorite chewing gums.

Quote from Charles

Jake: Guys, what the hell is going on?
Hitchcock: Hitchcock and Scully saved the day.
Amy: No, you plugged ten fax machines into one outlet and caused a fire.
Scully: But I pointed to the fire extinguisher and was like, "The fire extinguisher's over there."
Charles: You pointed at the toaster oven!

Quote from Gina

Jake: You stay here and take care of Sharon.
Gina: Ugh. What if she's still pregnant when I get in there?
Jake: Then you'll deal with it.

Quote from Hitchcock

Jake: Hey, you guys came.
What about all the paperwork?
Amy: We got it all in. Filed 900 forms by hand in under 12 hours. It was tough, but worth it.
We wouldn't have missed this.
Charles: Also, we had to go to the ER anyway. Hitchcock's arm was mangled by the tube.
Hitchcock: I'm in unspeakable pain.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Guys, I just want to say thanks to all of you.
Charles and Amy filling out forms.
Rosa, I'm so thankful you got me here on that bike.
Rosa: I'm thankful I could help.
Charles: I'm thankful that I'm-
Captain Holt: Boyle, this is clearly a moment between him and Diaz.

Quote from Gina

Sergeant Jeffords: And Gina, I know you got past your fears and helped Sharon out.
Gina: I'm so happy for you and I never want to see your daughter or remember this day.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Ah, Sharon. Nice to see you. You look so big. Like a mighty truck.

Quote from Gina

Gina: I have made the mistake of looking at the birthing plan and just learned what an episiotomy is. I'm gonna need 90 minutes.

Quote from Charles

Amy: What're we gonna do?
Charles: I'll tell you what my dad used to tell me: "When the going gets tough, "the pill bug curls into a ball and pretends to be dead."
Amy: You think we should pretend to be dead?
Charles: You asked for a solution, I gave you one.

Quote from Gina

Gina: It's been over an hour. This has to be a record for longest childbirth.


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