Cory: Thank you for coming. Now, I don't have much time. I need to make peace with you.
Amy: Sedative.
Mr. Feeny: Ah! Well, all is forgiven, Mr. Matthews.
Cory: I wish it was that simple. I've done a lot of bad to you over the years. I want to make things right between us.
Mr. Feeny: You're making me very uncomfortable.
Cory: Ah, for once, just listen to me, man. In the classroom under my desk is a key. The key will open airport locker B-378. In the locker is a tattered plaid valise. In the valise, you will find all my homework. For five years.
You see, all these years I've understood everything. I'm actually a brilliant student.
Mr. Feeny: What is the capital of Montana?
Cory: You're not going to the airport, are you?
Mr. Feeny: No.

Cory: Feeny.
Mr. Feeny: I'm here, Mr. Matthews.
Cory: Closer.
Mr. Feeny: I'm close enough.

Cory: I'll have the soup. What are you going to have, King Louis?

Shawn: I'm sorry, Topanga. I've got some serious problems with doctors and I don't think I have to explain why.
Topanga: Explain why.
Shawn: Fine. Last night I'm flipping through the channels, right, and I'm watching CNN.
Cory: You're watching CNN?
Shawn: Well, yeah, they suckered me in with this story about cake. But then they did this expose on a fifteen-year-old boy, went to the hospital for a routine procedure, and vanished.

Alan: Eric, there must be thousands of guys applying to be on Singled Out. It probably takes them months to make a decision, get a letter out...
Eric: And yet, looky here. To Eric Matthews from MT - I can't quite make out that last letter. What is that?
Alan: V.
Eric: What?
Alan: V.
Eric: What?
Alan: How about I kill ya?

Eric: Let's see her. "Dear Eric, Congratulations on being selected to appear as a contestant on MTV's Singled Out. And please don't bring your negative, negative dad."
Alan: Let me see that. Wow, they really put that.

Eric: Mr. Feeny, I have to talk to you.
Wow, how could you not be here?
Mr. Feeny! Mr. Feeny!
Mr. Feeny: Mr. Matthews, what can I do for you?
Eric: I got a problem and you're not out here gardening. And you're not at school and you're not gardening. I mean, what are you doing?

Eric: Look, I've been selected to be on this MTV game show Singled Out. And I know they're gonna interview me before I go on the show and I know they're gonna ask me what college I go to.
Mr. Feeny: You don't go to a college.
Eric: I know the one thing I don't want to say is Harvard. They're gonna know I don't go to Harvard. They're gonna think I'm so stupid because I don't know the name of some other prestigious school, so, I was wondering, could you just give me the name of the school you went to, if it still exists?
Mr. Feeny: I won't do that, Mr. Matthews.
Eric: Gone, huh?
Mr. Feeny: I won't be a party to this deception.

Interviewer: College?
Eric: Harvard.
Interviewer: Harvard.
Eric: Yeah. Goooo, smart guys.

Interviewer: Tell me, if you go to Harvard, then why are you here in Philadelphia?
Eric: I go to the Philadelphia campus.
Interviewer: They have a Philadelphia campus?
Eric: They have six. Now, stop trying to trap me.