Morgan: Hi, I'm Cory Matthews and for the next three years, I'm going to look like a potato.
Eric: Will you get out of here?
Cory: No, the child speaks the truth. I, Cory Matthews, am a po-ta-to.

Eric: This is who I am now, daddy. I'm a townie. I'm worse than a townie because I rely on my parents for economic support. I didn't even buy this cereal. You bought this cereal. You bought my clothes. You bought this cereal. You bought the milk, which was white when it started but is chocolate now because it's Coco Puffs and I've been sitting here for nine hours.

Cory: If anyone knows hair, it's me. When I get a hair cut, it looks terrible for like the first six weeks. Then, all of a sudden, it looks terrific for like a day. Then it's time for another hair cut. It's what I like to call the Haircut Cycle of Shame.