Cory: Morgan, I'm eleven years old. I don't get scared. And even if I did get scared and had to defend myself, my weapon of choice would not be a chick with a plastic head.

Mr. Feeny: It's supposed to stink, Mr. Matthews, it's detention. You're being detained from whatever it is you'd rather be doing.

Mr. Feeny: Shakespeare wrote plays and sonnets. The Greeks wrote tragedies and comedies. Robert Burns, Emily Dickinson, the Brownings, examined the depths of human emotions. And do you know what each one of these poets, playwrights and philosophers had in common, Mr. Matthews?
Cory: They all took your class?
Mr. Feeny: Every one of them was older than eleven.

Mr. Feeny: There is no greater aspiration than to have love in our lives, Mr. Matthews. Romeo knew it and died for it. Others know it and prepare salads. And those that don't know it will sit in detention for the rest of their lives.

Cory: I'm a kid. I don't even understand the emotional content of Full House.
Morgan: I do!

Morgan: Do you want me and Debbie to go to the baseball game with you?
Cory: Hey, go to the game with my little sister and her doll. Great! Maybe during the seventh inning stretch I could run through the stadium in my old Spiderman underwear?
Morgan: Well you don't have to dress up for me.

Shawn: He's a teacher man. Keep ragging on him, he's gonna make your whole six grade year miserable.
Cory: I'm gonna be miserable anyhow. At least this way I'm taking him with me.

Cory: You're not going to the game? That's terrible.
Eric: Actually, Cory, it gets worse.
Cory: She's going to the game with us?
Eric: You're really close.
Cory: She and I are going to the game?

Cory: I wanna move.
Alan: Why did you get detention?
Cory: You know, you're missing the bigger issue, dad. You bought a house next to my teacher. I wanna move. I wanna move now. Get the guy with the gold jacket, I'll be in the car.

Cory: I can handle Feeny. Feeny loves me.
Shawn: Feeny hates you.
Cory: Well, it's one of the two.