Amy: The man has given the last forty years of his life teaching others.
Eric: Don't care. Kill his flowers. Kill 'em.

Eric: Wow, these women are fat!

Eric: Toilets are clean, boss. Oh, hey, look: I'm a Teletubby!

Eric: Her name is Bridget and I wrote her this poem: "Bridget you make me fidget."

Cory: Eric, why are you doing this to me? Why are you home?
Eric: I don't know.

Eric: No, we're not going to have to. You see the beauty of befriending the dean is he's going to give us an extension on the paper. We're never going to have to do it. Or any paper thereafter. We're actually never going to have to do any work until we graduate, get jobs, befriend our bosses, get married, befriend our wives.

Eric: Hey, you're tutoring another kid in there, aren't you?
Mr. Feeny: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
Eric: You're tutoring Kevin McDougall, the kid from the other side.

Eric: How'd your date go with Kathy?
Mr. Feeny: Well, it seemed to be going quite well. She even invited me into her home.
Eric: Ooh. Go Feeny. Go Feeny. Go Feeny.

Eric: Well, Captain, this isn't about the presents, it's about the power struggle between men and women since the creation of man over 300 years ago.

Eric: You know I think it's time for the older brother to give the younger brother the pre-wedding sex talk.