Michael: How can you ignore that man? He's having a hard time in there. He's lonely.
Lucille: That's what his children are for.
Michael: Yeah, well, you know there are certain things that he can't get from his children.
Lucille: If you're going to say "pride", Michael, you're wrong. He is proud of his children.
Michael: Wasn't gonna say pride, Mom.

Narrator: Meanwhile, Lindsay and Tobias were getting to the heart of each other's vulnerabilities with a role-reversal exercise.
Tobias: Because I'm a woman!
Dr. Phil Gunty: Good.
Tobias: With a woman's needs.
Dr. Phil Gunty: Louder.
Tobias: And a woman's urges! And these, Tobias. When was the last time you looked at these?
Lindsay: Yeah, okay. How long is this session?
Tobias: See, she's breaking in and out of character and making it difficult...
Lindsay: 'Cause I don't wanna be in a character.

Gob: Great news.
Michael: Oh, good. I could use it. I just came from convincing Mom to have sex with Dad.
Gob: God! What is wrong with you? That is disgusting!
Michael: What's wrong with you?
Gob: Oh, I'm sorry. But just the thought of Mom and Dad together... I have a sense of propriety, all right?

Michael: Fine. What's your great news?
Gob: I [bleep] Kitty.
Michael: Oh, Gob, I just wanted you to get the information.
Gob: Oh, I got the information.
Michael: You did, huh? About the international accounts?
Gob: Oh, I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information.
Michael: That's great. Good, good, good, Gob. You just lost the touch lamp.
Gob: What? No!
Michael: The deal's off. I'm gonna use the touch lamp to set the mood in the conjugal trailer when Dad's nailing Mom!
Gob: No! Don't, Michael! You are filthy!

Michael: Hey, Dad.
George Sr.: Michael! What are you doing here?
Michael: You needed my help, and it was hard for you to ask, so I took it upon myself to bring her.
George Sr.: That doesn't make you uncomfortable?
Michael: Well, yeah, the drive was a little awkward.
George Sr.: Not every son would do this for his father. Thank you for this.
Lucille: [o.s.] Hello, George.
George Sr.: What the hell's your mother doing in here?
Michael: Who were you expecting?
George Sr.: Oh, I've done a bad thing. I've done a terrible thing.
Michael: There's someone else in that trailer, isn't there?
George Sr.: I've done a repulsive thing.

Michael: How long? When did this start?
George Sr.: Oh, come on! This is the first time. Every Friday for the last eight years, Michael.
Michael: Ugh.
George Sr.: Daddy-
Michael: Horny. I got that.
George Sr.: Hey, wait a minute. This is easy. This is an easy one. I'll go- I'll go in there with Kitty, I'll do my thing and th-th-then I'll go and see your mother. This is a hard one.
Michael: She's your secretary.
George Sr.: You're right. Family first. Take care of Kitty. Michael. I need you now.
Michael: "International accounts" need me?

Michael: [on the phone] I need you to come to the prison.
Gob: I'm at the prison.
Michael: You're here?
Gob: I'm delivering this strongly worded letter I wrote lit by nothing but natural light.
Michael: Well, how would you like that touch lamp and the office and... what the hell... full use of the secretary?