Trending ‘Arrested Development’ Quotes

Quote from Michael in Emotional Baggage

Rance Howard: Can I help you?
Michael: Yeah, that's a sweet setup there. I wanted to take a peek. Do you mind? I want to check out my son.
Rance Howard: Uh, that I understand. My name is Rance Howard, Ron's dad.
Michael: I thought you worked here. Hi.
Rance Howard: Well, I like to stay busy, keep an eye on my son, too.
Michael: Oh, yeah? You still have to do that?
Rance Howard: That's a father's job. Doesn't start at 9:00 and end at 5:00. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Michael: Even as they get older, huh?
Rance Howard: It gets even harder, 'cause they think they know it all. You still have to be there for them when they make mistakes. Or sometimes they need to cry a little bit because sometimes a person needs to cry a little bit. Unless that person is a dad. For a father must bear his load lightly, and yet, beneath the mask, a watchful eye never wanders. For it is through this glance that a wisdom beyond words must be passed.
Michael: That is a very interesting take. Because I think a girl might be using my son, but I don't exactly have a way to keep an eye on her...
Ron Howard: Oh, I see you met my dad. He doesn't say much, but we're sure glad he's around. Although, hopefully he didn't share his thoughts about climate change, did he?
Rance Howard: Hoax!
Michael: He was great company.


Quote from Tobias in Public Relations

Tobias: Really, now. This is ridiculous. I paid 12 American- Oh, my God. You are Carl Weathers, the actor. I went to San Francisco to attend your stage fighting workshop. But you never showed up.
Carl Weathers: I got bumped from that flight. Hell, they'll give you $300 if you get bumped. It's this crazy loophole in the system that the wrong guy discovered. Guess where I won't be going. [chuckles]
Tobias: Yeah. So... I am an actor too.
Carl Weathers: Oh. Good.
Tobias: Well, I want to be. Without the proper training, I'm afraid I'm doomed to be a doctor.
Carl Weathers: Well, hell, I can train you.
Tobias: Oh, well, I'm afraid all I have is $1,100 and that's for this plane ticket, so...
Carl Weathers: Check this out. $1,100 is exactly what I charge for acting classes.
Tobias: No, it isn't!
Carl Weathers: Yeah.
Tobias: Well, what are the chance... [chuckles] Universe, you've done it again.