Tobias: Is she on you about that diamond cream?
Michael: My husband's jealous because since we decided to have an open marriage I've been doing a little better than he has. It is not a competition, Lindsay. We are doing this to save our marriage. But I should be telling you that I have been meeting my fair share of groupies. Or should I say "Bluepies"?
Narrator: Tobias had recently auditioned as an understudy for the silent performance art trio, the Blue Man Group.
[flashback:]
Tobias: And this is "Kids" from Bye, Bye, Birdie.
Narrator: He had yet to hear back from them.

Gob: Hey, look, Dad may have illegally built some homes in Iraq, which is kinda not cool.
Michael: I know, but that's why I've got a business model that I think is going to restore the image of our company. We're going to build a second model home.
Gob: That's great. Can I announce it to the board?
Michael: Gee, it is my business model. If you had a business model, then by all means, go in there and do your little dance.
Gob: Tell you what we're gonna do. Rock, paper, scissors for it.
Michael: No, no, I'm not interested in doing-
Gob: One, two, three. Paper covers rock.
Michael: It is a rock though. It should beat everything.
Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. It's kind of like on a boat with "Women and children first." I mean, why should they... Before I forget, I'm buying a company boat.

Gob: The Seaward.
Michael: You're not getting a boat.
Gob: One, two, three.
Michael: No, not gonna do it.
Gob: Paper covers rock.
Michael: Fine. But rock sinks boat.

Buster: Mother? Mother! I heard zoo noises.
Lucille: It's nothing. Go back to bed.
Oscar: So, everybody's still up, huh?

George Sr.: [on the phone] Hey, it's me.
Gob: Dad?
George Sr.: Yeah. Listen, I gotta make this quick. You're the only one who can save the family, but you gotta keep the company strong because I'm gonna need some of that money later.
Gob: I will, Dad. It's funny, after all these years of you making fun of me for the magic shows and-
George Sr.: Gob! Oh, for God's- I called to talk to Michael, you horse's- [female operator speaking in Spanish]
Narrator: Gob was hurt.
Gob: Bye, Pop.

Narrator: And George Sr. was brutally hurt when he was mistaken for his twin brother Oscar.
Federales: [Spanish: "You're under arrest for the sale of marijuana!"]
George Sr.: Marijuana? No, no. That's my brother. "Brothero. Brothero."

Maeby: Is this about Gangie's homeless guy?
Michael: Gangie's homeless guy?
Maeby: Yeah, it's all over the news. Gangie gave C.P.R. to a homeless guy on the beach.
Narrator: Lindsay felt respect for her mother and decided that perhaps she could overcome her pride and help someone too.
Lindsay: I've got someone for your crew, Michael. My boyfriend, the homeless guy. I wonder if he even has an apartment or...

Michael: Gob, do you have Starla's phone number? I got a few business things I'd like to go over with the business model.
Gob: Guess who was just over her? Don't, I'll tell you. Me.
Michael: Hmm?
Gob: I [bleep] the business model.
Narrator: Actually, they just made out.
Gob: Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. Imagine that. I finally nailed somebody that you weren't after. [chuckles]

Starla: Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the Bluth Company, Gob Bluth.
Gob: My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done. But I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you phase two of the Bluth Company. A house truly solid as a rock.
Narrator: But as it turns out Michael was right to not be optimistic it could be done. And Buster saw the chance to get injured enough to keep him out of the army. But instead got a glimpse inside.
Buster: I can't look at that.
Narrator: Unfortunately, Tobias had to.
Tobias: I got the wrong homeless man. I am sorry. I was looking for Lindsay.
Buster: You lied to me. You both lied to me. I'm going to war.
Lucille: Buster, you can't!
Buster: Yes, I can. I don't agree with your dirty doings here but I will defend with my life your right to do it.

Gob: You planned this all along, didn't you, Michael?
Michael: No, I didn't. I had no crew. I had no time.
Gob: You set me up.
Narrator: Gob charged at Michael with the scissors but Michael, as he always did, picked rock.
Gob: You wanted to make me look foolish!
Michael: Put down the scissors. Put 'em down.
Gob: Foolish with scissors!
Narrator: Which beat scissors.