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The One Where Michael Leaves

‘The One Where Michael Leaves’

Season 2, Episode 1 -  Aired November 7, 2004

Michael is ready to leave his family and their troubles behind as he and George Michael head to Arizona.

Quote from Gob

Michael: I'm here because I thought you might need me.
Gob: I need you?
Michael: That's right.
Gob: Oh, boy, that's good. Can't wait to call the guys in to hear this one. Listen- How do you intercom on this?
Michael: Star two.
Gob: Yeah. At the same time?
Michael: Yeah, just- No, the star in the corner. The star.
Gob: So if I do it like that-
Michael: No, turn it around the other way. Star.
Gob: Oh, that star.


Quote from Michael

Michael: You know, the corporate checkbook. Where is it?
Gob: Actually, Mom's got it. She wasn't comfortable with me.
Narrator: Michael now had the distasteful choice of either asking his mother for money or going to jail.
Michael: Maybe Buster killed her already.

Quote from Lindsay

Narrator: And Lindsay arrived at what she thought was a date.
James Carr: Hey! You found it. So, shall we start in the kitchen?
Lindsay: I thought the bedroom.
James Carr: Sure. I'll meet you up there. I gotta make this place smell like cookies. And you should know, I am anticipating multiples on this.
Lindsay: Well, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think that was a possibility.

Quote from Narrator

Narrator: Tobias, meanwhile, discovered that what he thought was a support group turned out to be a team of bald men painted blue.

Quote from Buster

Buster: Mom volunteered me for the army just because the fat man dared her to.
Lucille: We can't let them take Buster.

Quote from Michael

Doctor: Excuse me. Mrs. Funke.
Lucille: Oh, this guy again.
Michael: How is he, Doctor?
Doctor: It, uh, looks like he's dead.
Lucille: Oh, my God!
Gob: Oh, little guy! The tears aren't coming! The tears just aren't coming!
Michael: Uh, just to be clear... Looks like he's dead, or he is dead?
Doctor: It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something, but he's going to be fine.
Gob: What is wrong with you?
Lindsay: What a [bleep] doctor!
Doctor: I'll let you celebrate privately.
Lucille: Hey, we want this comped!

Quote from Buster

Michael: They think I'm involved in this Iraq thing and I can't prove that I'm not with Dad not around so I need your help or I'm gonna go to jail.
Gob: We've got the proof, Michael. Dad signed a contract with Saddam.
Buster: Hussein.

Quote from Narrator

Gob: Hey, uh, where's the briefcase?
George Michael: Oscar has it.
Oscar: Hey, I'm awfully sorry I'm late. I got here as fast as I- Oh, how is he?
Lucille: Did you just change your clothes?
Annyong: Hey, look what I found on windowsill. Just hat. Someone take wig.
Narrator: In fact, it was George Sr. Who took wig and was fleeing the country with the evidence Michael so badly needed.
Gob: You made a huge mistake.

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