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Staff Infection

‘Staff Infection’

Season 1, Episode 15 -  Aired March 14, 2004

Michael puts his family to work after learning they're all on the company payroll.

Quote from Gob

Michael: What do you want? You want your paycheck?
Gob: I usually get cash under the table. But if you made it out to cash...

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Quote from Tobias

Narrator: It was at that moment that George Sr reunited with his son-in-law.
Tobias: Father.
George Sr.: Tobias, what the hell are you doing here?
Tobias: I'm here to study with you, to learn from you. Teach me.
George Sr.: There's no teaching. There's no teaching.
White Power Bill: Who is this little [bleep]?
Tobias: Well, it's been quite awhile since anybody called me a tyke but, no, I am Dr. Tobias Funke. Or, with your help, Frightened Inmate #2. [chuckles] And who is this shiny building of a man?
George Sr.: Oh, I'm very scared right now.
Tobias: Oh, we're starting. Oh, yes. Let me get something to write with.

Quote from Lucille

Narrator: With Lupe gone and the rest of her family working for once Lucille realized she missed them.
Lucille: Well, now, who the hell is gonna unload the car?
[later, on the phone:]
Lucille: Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.

Quote from Michael

Narrator: Michael had begun to work weekends. Unfortunately, this Interfered with the Saturday morning bike ride he usually took with his son.
Michael: So this isn't bad, right? Just like a normal Saturday.
George Michael: You know, Dad, you don't have to drive so slow. I can ride my bike by myself.
Michael: This actually doesn't go any faster.

Quote from Lucille

Narrator: Lucille, meanwhile, was growing closer to her recently adopted Korean son, whom she called Annyong.
Lucille: Much better, Annyong.
Narrator: Which isn't a name.
Annyong: Annyong.
Narrator: but the Korean word for "hello'.
Buster: And I guess I can comb my own hair.
Lucille: Oh, please. He's a little boy and since he's going to go off and work for 10 hours I want him to look nice.

Quote from Buster

Buster: You got a job, Annyong?
Annyong: Annyong.
Buster: Annyong.
Annyong: Annyong.
Lucille: At the banana stand. Oh, his work ethic is unbelievable unlike some sons I know.
Buster: I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.
Lucille: [sighs] Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.

Quote from Lucille

Michael: [to Lucille] Anyway, you enjoy that paycheck when you get it. It will be the last one I ever send here.
Buster: Uh, does that mean I have to go to your office to get mine, too, or how's that work?
Michael: You gotta be kidding me. All right. You know what, Buster? Bob, in the copy room, he quit today. If you want your money, you're gonna have to work for it.
Buster: Okay. I accept. I'll take that job. I will work in the copy room. [Buster walks away]
Lucille: I wouldn't go in there without knocking, Michael.

Quote from Gob

Michael: How did you know I was here?
Gob: I called the office. You know, that Kitty is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me. Maybe I oughta-
Michael: That was Lindsay.
Gob: Anyway...
Michael: Yeah.

Quote from Buster

Gob: What's Busty doing here?
Buster: Michael got me the job.
Gob: How did you get him to do construction work? The guy's like the world's biggest chicken. [caws]
Buster: I'm not a chicken.
Michael: Yeah, he's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all.
Gob: I thought it was open spaces.
Buster: No, it's both. But I love it here. And the language these guys use rough! One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. [giggles] My bottom!

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: What happened to the lights?
Lindsay: Isn't this better? Doesn't this just wanna make you curl up and forget about the world?
Michael: Lindsay, we need the light so that people- Where are these people going?
Lindsay: I'm taking them out to lunch.
Michael: Did you reserve a restaurant? Are they taking their own cars?
Lindsay: They'll figure something out.
Michael: No, they won't. You don't have a plan? I told you, these people are sheep. All right? They'll wander off, and you'll lose the sheep. You've lost the sheep.
Lindsay: Oh, they'll be fine.
Narrator: In the parking lot, the employees boarded the bus Lupe had rented for her family reunion thinking Lindsay had reserved it to take them to lunch.

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