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‘Staff Infection’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Arrested Development: Staff Infection

115. Staff Infection

Aired March 14, 2004

Michael puts his family to work after learning they're all on the company payroll.

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: Okay, guys, back to the staff meeting. Uh, Lindsay? Hello. The phones.
Lindsay: Well, you said "staff."
Michael: The zoning committee feels that we're trying to squeeze too many units onto a lot this size and we need to if we want to make a profit. So how do we fit these units on there?
Lindsay: Are these fluorescent lights bothering anybody else besides me?
Michael: That's not what I want to deal with today.
Lindsay: Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?


Quote from Lindsay

Michael: Lindsay, how can you just come in here and ask me for a paycheck?
Lindsay: Well, I usually ask Kitty, uh, but she's not around and you're the only one here I've ever seen before.
Michael: How long has this been going on?
Lindsay: Dad hired me out of college.
Michael: You quit college.
Lindsay: Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?

Quote from Lucille

Michael: I'm going to work now.
Lucille: And while you're there, find out from your assistant, Kitty why she didn't send my paycheck.
Michael: You get a paycheck from the Bluth Company?
Lucille: Well, it's important to the company that I keep up the image of my lifestyle.
Michael: Illusion, Mom. And I'm the president of that company. I believe I'm the one that asked you to start shopping at Quantity Plus.
Lucille: And they made me apply for a membership card. It was humiliating.

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: You have a job now. Since Kitty's gone, you can earn your check by answering the phones.
Lindsay: Michael, it's Friday. Everybody coasts on Friday.
Michael: It's actually Saturday.
Lindsay: Finally. I'm out of here. I'll see you Tuesday.
Michael: I'm serious, Lindsay.
Lindsay: This is why your employees hate you.
Michael: They're actually fond of me.

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Tobias had recently been cast in a movie, playing the role of a frightened inmate.
Tobias: I ain't going to squeal, man. I ain't going to- Oh, I'm not frightened! God! Lindsay, say something to scare me.
Lindsay: [bleep] me.
Tobias: Nope. Nothing. Thanks for trying though. You know what I ought to do? I ought to check myself into a men's penal colony. Perhaps your father could get me in.

Quote from Lucille

Michael: What's wrong with Lupe?
Lucille: Oh, she's upset because I told her she couldn't take the day off. There's a family reunion in Catalina.
Buster: Catalina? We're not going to Catalina, are we?
Narrator: Buster had an unfortunate encounter in a photo booth on the wildlife-populated island of Catalina.
Michael: No, Lupe is. You see, for her a family reunion might actually be a pleasant experience.
Lucille: They've got a bus, and they want to use the parking lot to this building as a meeting place. I mean, for God's sake, it's not a hardware store. We can't have them hanging around like freeloaders, looking for an easy buck.

Quote from Buster

Buster: I need a different job. I'm having real trouble in a confined indoor space. Oh. Hey, coworker.
Michael: How do you feel about working outdoors?
Buster: Uh, what else do you have?

Quote from Maeby

Maeby: I thought your dad worked last weekend.
George Michael: No, last week he had to finish planning the new subdivision.
Maeby: Oh. So did he finish it?
George Michael: No. Hey, are you trying to make me feel bad?
Maeby: Yeah, I guess. Sorry.
George Michael: Yeah.
Maeby: I'm just bored.
George Michael: That's okay.
Maeby: I guess he just likes work more than he likes you.

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Tobias went to the prison in preparation for his own work.
Tobias: I have a letter of introduction here from Carl Weathers.
Narrator: Fortunately, the new warden was an appreciator of the arts.
Warden Stefan Gentles: It would be an honor to have you research in this institution.
Tobias: Oh.
Warden Stefan Gentles: And, if I may... I have this script I'd love to get to Carl.
Tobias: Okay.
Warden Stefan Gentles: The warden could easily be black.

Quote from Tobias

Warden Stefan Gentles: Lets see, now. 187 won't be free till Tuesday [winks] at midnight. And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.
Tobias: Oh! Re- Well, I- I would like to bunk with my father-in-law.
Warden Stefan Gentles: Okay. Let's get you into wardrobe.
Tobias: Wow! Prison!

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