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‘Staff Infection’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Arrested Development: Staff Infection

115. Staff Infection

Aired March 14, 2004

Michael puts his family to work after learning they're all on the company payroll.

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: Okay, guys, back to the staff meeting. Uh, Lindsay? Hello. The phones.
Lindsay: Well, you said "staff."
Michael: The zoning committee feels that we're trying to squeeze too many units onto a lot this size and we need to if we want to make a profit. So how do we fit these units on there?
Lindsay: Are these fluorescent lights bothering anybody else besides me?
Michael: That's not what I want to deal with today.
Lindsay: Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?

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Quote from Lindsay

Michael: Lindsay, how can you just come in here and ask me for a paycheck?
Lindsay: Well, I usually ask Kitty, uh, but she's not around and you're the only one here I've ever seen before.
Michael: How long has this been going on?
Lindsay: Dad hired me out of college.
Michael: You quit college.
Lindsay: Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?

Quote from Lucille

Michael: I'm going to work now.
Lucille: And while you're there, find out from your assistant, Kitty why she didn't send my paycheck.
Michael: You get a paycheck from the Bluth Company?
Lucille: Well, it's important to the company that I keep up the image of my lifestyle.
Michael: Illusion, Mom. And I'm the president of that company. I believe I'm the one that asked you to start shopping at Quantity Plus.
Lucille: And they made me apply for a membership card. It was humiliating.

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: You have a job now. Since Kitty's gone, you can earn your check by answering the phones.
Lindsay: Michael, it's Friday. Everybody coasts on Friday.
Michael: It's actually Saturday.
Lindsay: Finally. I'm out of here. I'll see you Tuesday.
Michael: I'm serious, Lindsay.
Lindsay: This is why your employees hate you.
Michael: They're actually fond of me.

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Tobias had recently been cast in a movie, playing the role of a frightened inmate.
Tobias: I ain't going to squeal, man. I ain't going to- Oh, I'm not frightened! God! Lindsay, say something to scare me.
Lindsay: [bleep] me.
Tobias: Nope. Nothing. Thanks for trying though. You know what I ought to do? I ought to check myself into a men's penal colony. Perhaps your father could get me in.

Quote from Lucille

Michael: What's wrong with Lupe?
Lucille: Oh, she's upset because I told her she couldn't take the day off. There's a family reunion in Catalina.
Buster: Catalina? We're not going to Catalina, are we?
Narrator: Buster had an unfortunate encounter in a photo booth on the wildlife-populated island of Catalina.
Michael: No, Lupe is. You see, for her a family reunion might actually be a pleasant experience.
Lucille: They've got a bus, and they want to use the parking lot to this building as a meeting place. I mean, for God's sake, it's not a hardware store. We can't have them hanging around like freeloaders, looking for an easy buck.

Quote from Buster

Buster: I need a different job. I'm having real trouble in a confined indoor space. Oh. Hey, coworker.
Michael: How do you feel about working outdoors?
Buster: Uh, what else do you have?

Quote from Maeby

Maeby: I thought your dad worked last weekend.
George Michael: No, last week he had to finish planning the new subdivision.
Maeby: Oh. So did he finish it?
George Michael: No. Hey, are you trying to make me feel bad?
Maeby: Yeah, I guess. Sorry.
George Michael: Yeah.
Maeby: I'm just bored.
George Michael: That's okay.
Maeby: I guess he just likes work more than he likes you.

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Tobias went to the prison in preparation for his own work.
Tobias: I have a letter of introduction here from Carl Weathers.
Narrator: Fortunately, the new warden was an appreciator of the arts.
Warden Stefan Gentles: It would be an honor to have you research in this institution.
Tobias: Oh.
Warden Stefan Gentles: And, if I may... I have this script I'd love to get to Carl.
Tobias: Okay.
Warden Stefan Gentles: The warden could easily be black.

Quote from Tobias

Warden Stefan Gentles: Lets see, now. 187 won't be free till Tuesday [winks] at midnight. And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.
Tobias: Oh! Re- Well, I- I would like to bunk with my father-in-law.
Warden Stefan Gentles: Okay. Let's get you into wardrobe.
Tobias: Wow! Prison!

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