‘S.O.B.s’
Season 3, Episode 9 - Aired January 2, 2006
As the Bluth family situation gets even more desperate, the family decide to host a fundraiser to collect money for their legal expenses. Michael wants everyone to get jobs, so Lindsay becomes a homemaker and Gob starts waiting tables.
Quote from Michael
Rocky Richter: And he says you threatened to poison him.
Michael: I was upset. I'd just heard that my son thought I was a horrible father. But, no, I didn't poison him.
Rocky Richter: Well, if I find out you did... Oh, Andy wants to know, at this dinner, you want him to sing or anything?
Michael: A song would be fantastic.
Quote from George Michael
George Michael: So, Dad, you saw that? I thought you didn't know what I said about you.
Michael: Well, that wasn't exactly the truth. But don't worry, I know you don't have anything bad to say about me.
George Michael: Well, no, you know what? I think Donnie was right. I just wasn't digging deep enough. You know, I think I might've meant what I said. You never listen to me. You didn't ask me if I wanted to go to the school, you didn't ask me about what I said. You threatened my teacher. You don't respect me. How can I respect you, man?
Quote from George Sr.
Narrator: And some powerful players showed up.
Larry: George, Bill Kinkaid from Phosco Industries.
Narrator: Sort of.
Larry: Hope you don't mind, I sent one of those stupid surrogates.
George Sr.: You got busted, too.
Larry: No, I had a prior engagement. I'm at the Fire & Ice Ball.
Quote from George Sr.
Michael: Thank you very much for showing up. Maybe you could just sing while they're bringing out the dinners.
Emmitt Richter: Uh, I'm not Andy. I'm Emmitt. Andy sent me over to let you know that he's not going to be able to make it tonight.
Narrator: Michael was suspicious. I mean, think about it. We can't show Emmitt without blurring him.
Emmitt Richter: Yeah, he's singing at the Fire & Ice Ball tonight.
George Sr.: Andy Richter is singing at the Fire & Ice Ball? You know, I should send Andy a little basket of poison muffins, too.
Michael: Muffins? Oh, my God, Dad. You're the Muffin Man? You poisoned 25 teachers during the '70s?
George Sr.: Just the first two. The others were copycats.
Michael: You poisoned Donnie, didn't you?
George Sr.: Shut up. We're losing them.
Quote from Michael
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, the Bluth family gets some good news.
Lucille: They're all sending in donations. And you know what key was?
Michael: What?
Lucille: Your speech. It didn't sound desperate.
Michael: Well, I guess it really doesn't pay to be desperate.
Lucille: It sure doesn't.
Director: And cut! [cheering]
Will Arnett: Good job, man.
Director: Let's not celebrate yet. We still got the west coast feed, guys.