Narrator: The Save Our Bluths Party was starting to heat up. But the same could not be said for Lindsay's chicken.
Gob: What is going on? They're getting restless. I can't offer to [bleep] him in front of their husbands.
Lucille: This is what you're making? Poached salmonella?
Lindsay: It'll be fine. I'll just put the sauce on them.
Gob: What kind of sauce is that?
Lindsay: Wait, this is the water I thawed the chicken in.
Buster: Oh. Well, that should go with chicken.
Lindsay: Yeah. Fantastic.

TV Announcer: Tonight, an Arrested Development you can't miss. A cavalcade of stars. The shocking final moments will be presented live. And one of these people... will die.
Narrator: The Bluths were desperate.
Michael: I assume you've all seen this.
Narrator: The press had them all but finished.
George Sr.: [on the phone] What, what is it?
Michael: This isn't really going to work over the phone, Dad.
George Sr.: Then get Bob Loblaw to hire to hire me another surrogate.
Michael: That's kind of the point. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us, because someone wanted a boyfriend.
Tobias: Don't blame me.
Michael: I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you.

Lindsay: Well, I know this isn't exactly what you're looking for, but Maeby was just accepted into private school. And I've sent the check in already.
Michael: No, that's not what I'm looking for at all.
Lindsay: Michael, it's the most prestigious private school in town.
Buster: Oh, no, not the Milford Academy.
Narrator: Children were neither were to be seen nor heard at the school Buster had attended.
Lindsay: It's the exact opposite. It's called "Openings."
Michael: Oh, great. That sounds like another one of those gradeless, structureless, new age feel-gooderies.
Lindsay: They teach self-expression and getting in touch with feelings, Michael. I mean, I know you don't have any.

Michael: You know, Lindsay, since you already sent the check, this is how you're going to pay for it. You're gonna be in charge of the house from now on, okay? The cooking, the cleaning, all of it.
Lucille: You're going to put Lindsay in charge of the cooking? At least you'll lose weight.
Lindsay: You know, Mom, I think the only time you ever cooked for us, was the morning Rosa's mom died.
Buster: You gave us cereal in an ashtray.

Michael: Gob, pal, how about you? Can you find some work?
Gob: Oh, sure, Michael. As what, a waiter? "Can I get you something, madam?" [laughter]
Lucille: [laughs] I will have a vodka, though.
Gob: What? Oh.
Michael: You know, if you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know that there's no indignity in it.
Gob: Great. She'll have a vodka.

Tobias: You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my "analrapist" stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately. I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder.
Michael: Don't call it that.
Tobias: I think ultimately it's because he's afraid to express himself.
Narrator: Actually, it was because he was afraid his Aunt Lindsay was going to burn the house down.

Narrator: Meanwhile, Lucille went to work soliciting for the Bluth fund-raiser.
Lucille: I mean, we have plenty of money, don't get me wrong. But we can't use our personal assets to defend the company.
Narrator: Just then, Gob arrived and decided to have a laugh.
Gob: Your drink, madam. Can I get you anything?
Lucille: Get that one out of here.
Gob: As you please.
Narrator: But Lucille had never made eye contact with a waiter.
Waiter: Can you drop these off at two?
Gob: Why not. I'm just a waiter.
Narrator: So he kept it up.
[later:]
Gob: We're all out of the halibut.
Narrator: The joke was over but the lunch rush was just beginning.

Narrator: Back at the penthouse however...
Buster: My lunch is long overdue.
Narrator: ...lunch was long overdue.
Buster: I don't suppose she left anything for me to eat?
George Sr.: No, just the soup and a half sandwich and a whole sandwich for me.

George Sr.: You can say what you want about the Milford Academy. the kids that came out of there, prepared for life.
Buster: [holds a coconut on his hook] Does anyone know how to eat one of these?
Michael: You know, George Michael's going to be just fine, okay? I just want him to know how to express himself.
Buster: It doesn't do anything.

Narrator: Maeby, meanwhile, was about to have a learning experience of her own.
Tobias: Well, well, I understand you've been having trouble with that expensive boarding school. That's right, I can read.
Maeby: Okay, first of all, Variety got it wrong, all right? We didn't even want this project. It was a co-finance with Miramax then, poof, Miramax is gone and we're still on the hook, and it turns out Jamie Kennedy can't even snowboard.