Michael: Hey, Linds, is it my imagination or does this rape room have the same floor plan as our kitchen?

Lindsay: Hey, look. It's not coming from me. It's- It's George Michael. He told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well, that's ridiculous. He's got you. He's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.
Besides, I'm not gonna rush out and marry somebody just because you think my son would like it.
Beth Baerly: Welcome. I'm Ms. Baerly, the ethics teacher. My goal is to teach your children about the preciousness oflife that can be lost by the mindless pulling of a trigger.
Michael: Mmm. No ring.

Narrator: And so Michael got to know his son's ethics teacher.
Michael: Ethics right and wrong. How can one thing can be right and another one be wrong? I mean, which is which, you know? I guess that's the "Rrrr" of it. You know, so frustrating.
Beth Baerly: I don't know. I mean, they just threw this class at me after Mr. Daniels had a stroke.
Michael: I had him, Mr. Daniels. How is he?
Beth Baerly: Oh, he, you know, had a stroke.
Michael: Oh. Thought you were joking.
Beth Baerly: No, I was just laughing 'cause you were laughing.
Michael: Right. No. Yeah. Gosh. Hmm. Yeah. "Rrrr!"

Beth Baerly: But, you know, I-I I really am antiwar and antiviolence.
Michael: Uh-huh.
Beth Baerly: And I think I'm an ethical person.
Michael: Right. Here's an ethical question. Can-Can a parent take a teacher out for a drink? Or...
Beth Baerly: I don't know. Uh, do you have a wife?
Michael: Yeah. But she's dead.
Beth Baerly: Oh. [both laugh] Have you ever been married?
Michael: Yeah, she died.
Beth Baerly: Oh. God, why are we laughing?
Michael: I don't... Well, it's the Mr. Daniels stroke thing all over again. Let's go get that drink.
Beth Baerly: Yeah, it could only help.
Michael: Rrrr!

Narrator: George Sr. was dealing with his own admirer.
Cindi Lightballoon: Oh, I've already told you so many of my sins. Maybe you could tell me some of yours.
George Sr.: Uh, well, there are legal implications to that. But, uh, back to your sins. Uh, do that one about the, uh... ladies' shower in your college dorm again.

Beth Baerly: Sweet ride. Are you making dinner reservations?
Michael: No, no. That was my Mom. She just had a "little Korean" dropped off.
Beth Baerly: Ooh, that sounds good. Let's have that.

Michael: Listen, I know that you've been trying to get even with me about Marta. But got bad news for ya. I'm seeing somebody else.
Gob: Who? Who? Just out of curiosity. I'm not gonna try to sleep with her.
Michael: Forget it. I thought that this was behind us.
Gob: It is behind us.
Michael: Great.
Gob: When I sleep with her. 'Cause I'm gonna sleep with her. Yeah. I was lying when I said I wasn't gonna to sleep with her, so...

Michael: Hey, George Michael. I wanted to talk to you about something before, but I didn't know if it was real. But now, uh your ethics teacher-
George Michael: Yeah, I just made this for her.
Michael: Oh.
George Michael: She loves Saddam Hussein.
Michael: I'm sure she doesn't love Saddam. I'm sure she is interested in him as a subject, you know.
George Michael: Right. That's what I meant.

George Michael: You know, I just wanted to make her something special to show that I care.
Michael: About the class?
George Michael: No. I mean, about her.
Michael: Oh!
George Michael: I kind of love her.
Michael: You mean, you love her like like she loves Saddam. Right?
George Michael: No, no. I mean, like, love her love her.
Michael: Oh. Oh.
Beth Baerly: Oh, hi! Hi, George Michael. I was just Iooking at this model home. I'm gonna go home and think about it. I'm gonna go home, think about it.
George Michael: Dad, what was she doing here? I mean, sh- She wasn't...
Narrator: Michael knew he had an ethical responsibility to tell his son the truth.
Michael: Yes. Your Uncle Gob slept with her.

George Michael: Well, why would he do that? Why would Gob sleep with my ethics teacher?
Michael: Probably to get even with me.
George Michael: How would that be getting even with you? I'm the one that likes her.
Michael: Right. Right. No, I know. You and I know that, but Gob he just... He's not that exact of a target shooter, and he just kind of sprays it everywhere.