Narrator: As it turns out, the exchange was witnessed by Herbert Love's campaign manager, who, in possession of a third-party check from Gangie 4: Facelift, was looking to trade some greenbacks-
Man: Ma'am, is she yours?
Narrator: ...for a redhead.
Maeby: Unfortunately.
Man: Herbert Love would like to see her. You can arrange that? Obviously, discretion is appreciated.
Narrator: And that's how Maeby got both the seed money for her company...
Maeby: I'm the discreetiest.
Man: And just to be clear, I want to hire her for prostitution.
Maeby: Yes, no, definitely. That was clear. I'm gonna charge you for that.
Narrator: ...and became her mother's pimp.

Narrator: And soon, it was time for Maeby to show George Michael the office.
Mort Meyers: Welcome!
Maeby: I'm a softie. I hired the guy. He's more like a mascot than anything. Mort, where's my coffee?
Mort Meyers: Damn. Oh, stupid Mort.
Maeby: I know. It's okay, just focus. I'm going to take the cart and show George Michael his new office. Speechless, huh?
Mort Meyers: How do I get back?

Lindsay: I need to apologize to you. That check you've been looking for, I had it.
Maeby: "Had"?
Lindsay: It's not everything, but here's some money.
Maeby: Mom, let go.
Lindsay: It's dirty money anyway. Love gave it to me.
Narrator: Maeby felt bad.
Maeby: He gave you money directly?
Lindsay: If you can believe that. Anyway, this is your money now, and if you choose to do facial reconstruction... I mean, the nose, right?

Maeby: Guess the blowback has started. Thank God I'm with an undercover cop. Pull out your gun.
Perfecto: I don't have a gun.
Maeby: What kind of cop doesn't have a gun?
Perfecto: Okay, I'm not a cop.
Maeby: But I saw your badge at the bar.
Narrator: In fact, it was an anti-bullying badge. He'd received it from a police-run anti-bullying program at school.
[flashback:]
Donnie Richter: You're never too old to stand up to a bully.

Perfecto: I made up all that stuff to impress you. I'm just a senior.
Maeby: A señor?
Perfecto: I'm 17. Ha!
Maeby: You're 17?
Perfecto: Yeah.
Maeby: I'm 23.
Perfecto: Oh, that's a relief. I wasn't supposed to be driving with you.
Maeby: But we messed around.
Narrator: Oh, they did more than that.
Perfecto: Don't worry, nobody saw.
Narrator: Except Lucille 2. And that's when Maeby, who had spent so long lying to others and even herself, finally had to admit she had made a huge...
Maeby: Eh, no, I'm fine.