Michael: And I just, I got in a big fight with my son, you know. It was my fault. For so many years, I was his mom and dad, so...
Buster: Maybe that's a role I can play in your life.
Michael: Don't say-
Buster: Mom.
Michael: Mmm. I thought you were gonna say Dad.
Buster: Mm-mm.

Narrator: But it wasn't a blonde Gob was thinking about. His recent rivalry with magician Tony Wonder had blossomed into a kind of friendship before contracting into a rivalry again. Which suddenly became a... oh, let's say, boarding school romance.

Michael: [answers phone] Hey, pal, I am outside your door. I was this close to telling you. You inside?
Lucille Austero: Hi, it's Lucille Austero.
Michael: No!
Lucille Austero: I've been looking for you.
Michael: Note, I mean. [Lucille 2 chattering] I know, I'd left you a note... And, uh, boy, can you hear me? [Lucille 2 continues chattering] Hello? Hello? Here we go again. Getting disconnected. This is why you always leave a note. [hangs up] "Always leave a note." Where's that from?

Narrator: And soon, being with his cousin was no longer an obstacle...
George Michael: Crazy asshole.
Narrator: ...to George Michael's hope of being with his cousin.
Maeby: I was wondering how you were gonna get rid of him.
George Michael: Was I that obvious?
Maeby: I just know that you don't like standing up to people on horses with guns.
George Michael: No, I never really was that guy.

Narrator: Meanwhile, George Sr.and Gob continued trying to out-goop each other.
Gob: I won't tell Mom about all the ladies you're [bleep] if you don't tell Mom about all the ladies I'm [bleep].

Gob: Do you think that was, like, a ten-gallon Hefty sack?
George Sr.: Oh, yeah. Yeah, a ten. Definitely a ten. Yeah. Yeah.
Gob: Nice. I like. I like a ten.

Narrator: George Michael, meanwhile, settled into a different kind of "south of the border" lifestyle.
George Michael: Mexico. It's like being in the Spanish dorms of the UCI sister campus in Spain all over again.
Narrator: He was noticing subtle differences in the cuisine.
George Michael: God, the salt is different here. It's fatter or something, right?

Michael: Ted, I think you see your daughter coming. And remember, you're not expecting this, but she's coming in hot with a right
Narrator: He'd gotten to teach a class he'd successfully persuaded management to try out.
Michael: Mona, I know your husband's down, he probably needs medical attention, but you got another son on your flank. And, everybody, we're going to duck, sweep the leg, and lunge. And he comes back again. And we sweep the leg and lunge. That's great. Everybody put down your cactus. Let's all huddle up. Okay, now that you're loose, we're gonna do some Mom Attacks Son, we're gonna do Dad Attacks Daughter, and then if we have time we're gonna do Dad Attacks Mom...

Narrator: Michael returned to a model home he left in some disgrace. And he wasn't particularly proud of what he did next.
Michael: [in Spanish accent] Hola. Window cleaner!
Buster: [v.o.] I shall be neither seen nor heard.
Tobias: [v.o.] I blue myself.
Lindsay: [v.o.] It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened.
Gob: [v.o.] I heard the jury's still out on science.
Narrator: It was an emotional moment.
Michael: [v.o.] Window cleaner!
Narrator: Until right at the end there.

Narrator: And that's when he found a letter from Lucille 2.
Michael: She forgave the debt.
Narrator: And feeling bad that he'd been forgiven by someone he wanted to forget, he decided to thank her in person. But, tired of hiding, he decided to say hello to his own family. Hello?
Gob: [v.o.] Speech! Speech!
Lucille: [v.o.] You're my third least favorite child.
Buster: [v.o.] Like a Motherboy Ball.
Narrator: And when they weren't home, he found himself missing them.
George Michael: [v.o.] I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged.
Michael: Lucille 2?
Lucille: [v.o.] I want that pie covered. And not with your face.
Michael: Hello?
Lucille: [squeals] Told you he'd come!