Michael: This is not about Lucille 2. This is about teaching Mom a lesson, you know.
Buster: Oh.
Michael: I mean, she just splits town and assumes I'm gonna take care of everything? You know, this is just a way to, uh-
Buster: Give Mom a little scare.
Michael: Yeah. Yeah. Let them race back into town and save everyone for a change. There's nothing to worry about.
Buster: Just Mama's worst nightmare. Buster's missing. Oh, and his bath has gone cold. [laughs]
Narrator: Buster was on board.
Michael: Maybe have a full psych panel while you're in there, too.
Buster: Oh, those things are so easy to beat.

George Sr.: Uh, this place is full of [sighs] cincos and mayos.
Gob: We need to find out whatever the word for ten is. Find that.
George Sr.: It's ten. Every culture uses ten.
Gob: Ten.

Bartender: Hey, these are from the ladies across the bar. They're primas.
George Sr.: Primos, huh? I've gotta be honest, I've seen better. Huh?
Gob: Eh.
Bartender: No, it means cousins. One hates her father, and the other hates her grandfather.
Narrator: It seemed the cervezas weren't the only thing being handed to the guys on a platter.
Gob: I don't know about you, but I'd prefer the thrill of the hunt, as opposed to-
George Sr.: Yeah, I think if we just wait, something a little better will come along. Thank you. Not trying to fall head over heels here.

Michael: You go to the police station 'cause you say, "Heard you were looking for me. Here I am."
Buster: Oh, but you said a cop had questions for me.
Michael: Mm-hmm. About Lucille 2.
Buster: And I'm not gonna answer any questions, right?
Michael: No. You answer the questions.
Buster: When Barry says it's okay.
Michael: Barry's not there. No attorneys. Just tell the truth.
Buster: Okay, like, bad example, I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car?
Michael: Perfect. If that's what happened, that's what you tell them. Nothing to be nervous about, okay?

Michael: So, I got some groceries. These are gonna have to last. So you already got into the candy bears, huh?
Buster: This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.
Michael: Let me help.
Buster: Sometimes I think they spent $27 million on the wrong guy.
Michael: Don't you say that about you. Well... Maybe you do say that. Maybe that's important to say.

George Michael: Hey. You know if anyone's home?
Steve Holt: Uh, yeah, Buster's in there. But if you're looking for Michael, you just missed him.
George Michael: [sighs] Oh, so much for apologizing.
Maeby: I'm telling you, he's moved on. Okay? You should, too.
Steve Holt: I just found out my dad went to Mexico without telling me. [chuckles] Welcome to the shitty parents club.
George Michael: No, no, we don't have kids.
Maeby: No.

Narrator: Although there was a kid that Maeby was eager to get away from.
Maeby: You know, Mexico sounds far from Perfecto. So that's perfect. What do you say? Screw it! No rules. Anything goes.
Narrator: A rebounding George Michael found the offer intriguing.
George Michael: Just the cousins.
Maeby: Mm-hmm.
Narrator: Which turned out to be...
Steve Holt: Primos! [laughs]
Narrator: ...this crew.
George Michael: Why do you keep yelling that?
Steve Holt: [laughing] Stop it.

Narrator: Michael was ready to hit bottom and go off the map. But that's hard to do when you're driving a car that makes maps.
Michael: No pictures, thank you! Put your phones down. We take the pictures.
Narrator: But when the fleet of recovery vans arrived from the search engine Michael had been working for, he discovered that the car that takes the pictures was no longer under his control.

Narrator: Ironically, Michael's son had also experienced car troubles in Mexico, and he wandered across his grandfather's deserted land hoping to find a spare tire...
Steve Holt: Can't believe you didn't know who I was.
Narrator: ...and lose a third wheel.
George Michael: Well, there's nothing we can say now. I wouldn't blame you if you just took off and you don't come back.
Steve Holt: Nah. Primos stick together.
George Michael: Oh. "Cousin." It means "cousins."
Maeby: Ah, that makes sense.

Narrator: But the land proved not to be deserted, after all. And as the menacing horsemen descended on the travelers, George Michael found himself tempted to bring up his dust allergies...
George Michael: We got a lot of dust.
Narrator: ...but hinted at them instead.