Narrator: And later, at the office, Michael had another surprise.
Michael: This can't be good.
Tobias: "Michael, it saddens me greatly to say to you that I can no longer work at the Bluth Company. You've been a great boss"-
Michael: I'm sorry, Tobias. Do you work here?
Tobias: Do I work- I developed an eating disorder being your assistant, Michael.
Michael: I never saw you at the desk.
Tobias: Well, excuse me if I was too busy on my knees in front of the toilet, Michael. "I have a tremendous opportunity now that the Blue Man Group has dropped their cease-and-desist and invited me to audition in Las Vegas. Also, I've developed some issues with food"-
Michael: I'm sorry to interrupt one more time. Is this the real Blue Man Group this time?
Narrator: Tobias had recently been asked to address a group of depressed men who had been described over the phone as blue.
[flashback to Tobias painted blue as he stands in front of a group of somber men:]
Tobias: I feel like a [bleep] idiot.
[present:]
Tobias: Fortunately, I found a wonderful circle of men to get me through that.

Michael: Plus, Dad will not leave the attic, which means he's gonna get caught which means I'm gonna get caught for hiding him.
Gob: Well, why don't you get Gob to do your dirty work for you? Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere? Or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty? Which is it this time, Michael?
Michael: Well, definitely not one of those two things.

Michael: But are you upset about something, Gob?
Gob: How about the fact I made you a thank-you gift last week about which you haven't said word one.
Michael: Come on. You asked me for $5,000 so that you could invest in a Franklin CD. Now, I assumed that you were talking about the mutual fund and not a compact disc of you singing to your hand.
Narrator: Gob had recently made a recording of his ventriloquism act.
[flashback:]
Gob: "Franklin Comes Alive." Take one.
Narrator: He hoped it would break down racial barriers and maybe be a crossover hit.
Gob: [sings] It ain't easy bein' white It ain't easy bein' brown All this pressure to be bright I got childrens all over town Sometimes- Hey, where'd the guy go?

Narrator: And downstairs, Tobias shared his good news with Lindsay.
Tobias: "...once in a lifetime."
Lindsay: Tobias, I am not uprooting my life and moving to Vegas. Maybe this is a sign that our relationship isn't working, and we should split again.
Tobias: Now, wait a second. I thought we were split up, and this would bring us back together.
Lindsay: Well, maybe the fact that we don't know if we're together or not is a sign that we should split again.
Tobias: Or stay split up. Okay, forget about Vegas. We'll stay here and get back together. Or stay together and either rekindle or fan this fire.

Michael: Okay, let's just all put our tops down. Just put 'em on down. You're not goin' to Vegas?
Tobias: Sadly, my wife said no to my dream. So I shall continue to toil through this waking life.
Kitty: Wow, you are so real. Why can't I meet someone like you?
Narrator: And Michael decided that he better keep Kitty occupied with a man. At least until after his meeting.
Michael: Hey, gang, I got an idea. Tobias, why don't you take Kitty out for the afternoon?
Kitty: Michael?
Tobias: Michael, are you trying to set up your former assistant with your current assistant?
Michael: No, I wasn't-
Tobias: Hey, what a great idea for a Hugh Grant-Julia Roberts type movie.
Kitty: I recently heard that the actor, John Larroquette, was looking for a meaty character piece.

Wayne Jarvis: Officers! Michael, these men are here - just a little bit early- because we have photographic evidence which discredits the affidavit you just signed.
Barry: Are those balls? 'Cause the last time we were here, they were balls.
Wayne Jarvis: These are not balls. This was taken with a traffic camera. It shows you in your car with your father within the last 24 hours.
Barry: I wish they were balls.

Narrator: Oscar, meanwhile, checked in on Buster.
Oscar: Buster! Buster! Be careful!
Buster: It's not a real hand, remember?
Oscar: I'm so forgetful. I hope you don't get that from me.
Buster: Get that from you? Do you feel okay?
[Buster holds the back of his artificial hand against Oscar's forehead]
Oscar: Just forget it! I wanted to share my Pop Secret with you. Oh, but forget it!
Buster: Pop secret? Pop se- Is Oscar my real father?

Narrator: Lucille, meanwhile, was on the phone with Michael.
Michael: [on the phone] They're keeping me overnight. Could you tell my son I'm on a business trip?
Lucille: Why can't the girl at work do it?
Michael: Tobias? I sent him on a date with Kitty to keep her off our backs.
Lucille: You better hope Lindsay doesn't find out. She'll be devastated.
Lindsay: Find out what?
Lucille: Your husband's dating Kitty the whore.
Lindsay: He is? That's- That's horrible.
Lucille: Do I know my daughter? She only wants what she can't have.

Gob: Franklin? [British accent] You've ruined the act, Gob.

Man: What are you guys protesting?
Ann: It's a disgusting movie about cousins who are into each other.
Man: Are there any more seats?
Maeby: Yeah. It's the best 52 minutes you'll spend all day.