Tobias Quote #281

Quote from Tobias in Courting Disasters

George Michael: Well, if you guys were thinking about staying here...
Tobias: [gasps] Oh, thank you so much. I told you he would come through! We cannot move in soon enough for you. [laughs] Some of our happiest days as a family were spent here.
George Michael: Yeah, well, it's not an abandoned office anymore, so there are people doing work out there.
Tobias: Uh-huh. Well, if it's work you require, I suppose we can act it off.
George Michael: Yeah, that's going to be a problem.
Tobias: Well, surely, there must be some, uh, in-house corporate training seminar we could do or or a sexual harassment video. I mean, I'm no Harvey Weinstein, but I'm sure I could produce one.

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 ‘Courting Disasters’ Quotes

Quote from Lucille

Lottie Dottie: I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan.
Judge Stanley: Gene Parmesan. Gene Parmesan? Doesn't seem like he's here.
Lottie Dottie: That's impossible. He's a private detective. He'd never be late.
Gene Parmesan: Well, has anyone checked under the new bailiff? [removes fake beard] Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks] Gene!
Gene Parmesan: And I swear to tell the truth, so help me God.
Lucille: That never gets old!
Gene Parmesan: I'll tell you something else that never gets old. Whoops. I'm under oath.

Quote from Tobias

George Michael: Gosh, I don't really know if we need any acting right now. The stuff we're doing here, it's more about preventing hacking, protecting privacy, and stuff like that.
Murphybrown: Oh, that's kind of what I was trying to stop, too.
Tobias: Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit of a computer whiz. [chuckles] He's worked on cable boxes.
Murphybrown: Yeah, I actually coded, like an extra layer beneath the firewall to keep your data from being exposed. It's like a dam or, like, a a stopper, or a barrier to stop people from...
George Michael: Like a block?
Tobias: Okay. Can we do this in English, Professor?
Murphybrown: Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my Sorry, my fine student. [troupe laughs]
Debrie: I need a diagram.
Tobias: It makes no sense at all. But what he's basically saying is, nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear. So, one adds an extra layer of protection. It doesn't have to be denim, per se, but everybody wants to hide their privates from something.

Quote from Lucille

Dusty: Do you want me to take it easy on him? Or give it to him hard? I know he's a friend of yours.
Lucille: [scoffs] He's not my friend anymore. Testifying against our family after all the times I faked being surprised by him?
Narrator: So Dusty went after the witness's credibility.
Dusty: Mr. Parmesan, you say you're a master of disguises. How many looks are you capable of creating?
Judge Stanley: You asking me? I'm the judge.
Gene Parmesan: I'm Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks]