Maeby: Well, if he said it was nothing and now you apologize, you're gonna make it something. I mean, what did Gangie always say? "Forget, but never forgive."
George Michael: You think she meant to say it that way?
Maeby: Yeah.
George Michael: Do you think "A friend in need is no friend indeed" was also on purpose? Or what about "They should take the rapists and murderers and put them all together on an island..."
Maeby: "and all the murderers can be raped, the rapists can be murdered"
Both: "until you only have either two rapists or"
Maeby: "one murderer"
George Michael: "one raped murderer"
Both: "but who cares about him?"
Maeby: Oh, was it "one raped murderer"?
George Michael: I've heard her say it both ways. I mean, in all likelihood, the guy would be raped.

Michael: So, I have no idea where she is, but, uh, my mother is at Austerity. It's a rehab clinic.
Lt. Toddler: Actually, we checked the rehab and your mother wasn't there.
Narrator: Actually, when Lucille 2 first went missing, Lucille 1 took the opportunity to compel her therapist to change her status from in to outpatient, bypassing both the Austerity Clinic's red tape as well as its security tape.
Lt. Toddler: And she was remanded to the care of your brother-in-law, Tobias Funghi?
Michael: F-
Lt. Toddler: You don't happen to know the license plate of the car he drives, do you?
Michael: His license plate number? No, I don't. I barely know my own license plate number, much less my brother-in... It's A-N-U-S and then for some reason T-A-R-T.
Lt. Toddler: "A new start."
Michael: Well, if you saw it written out, I don't think that you would... Let me try this one on you. A-N-A-L-R-A-P...

Maeby: [on the phone] He turned actually out to be a teenager, posing as an undercover cop, posing as a teenager. It's hard to explain.
George Michael: No, that actually happened to, like, two of my neighbors at Sudden Valley.
Maeby: Well, they're not putting me in Sudden Valley. I'll tell you that much. That's why I'm here, picking up anything I left behind that might be incriminating. You know? Just panties, leggings, corsets, the sex knobs, and one of those double-headed bondage things with the curly choke leash.
George Michael: That's probably a landline.
Maeby: Ew, gross! She put her ear on that?