Tobias Quote #207

Quote from Tobias in Smashed

Narrator: The Austerity Clinic was a well-known rehab facility that, on this particular day, was about to get a new therapist.
Tobias: Hello, everyone. I am Dr. Tobias Fünke and I will be your therapist. [police office clears his throat] Yes, I'm getting to that. And I am also a registered sex offender. Now, let's have a wrap-about. I am here because Lucille Austero has given me the opportunity to pay my debt to society.
Narrator: Although, technically, it was society that owed him, as he was the victim of a merry mix-up.

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 ‘Smashed’ Quotes

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: And the two friends caught up.
Tobias: But if I wouldn't have gotten arrested, I wouldn't have ended up working at the rehab, and I wouldn't have reconnected with my love. True, I can't ethically ravage her body, I have to leave that to time, but she's just so much fun to be with.
Gob: I, too, am in a relationship, but this person is sort of a celebrity.
Tobias: Well, turns out my femme fatale is a bit of a celebrity herself.
Gob: Well, looks like life is going pretty well for both of us. Except that I'm broke.
Tobias: And I'm a sex offender.
Gob: Michael expects me to sell these split-level death traps. And how am I supposed to do that? I mean, there are no schools or libraries or internet or playgrounds within 20 miles of here.
Tobias: You know, it's funny, I've been looking for a place to live, and that fills virtually every parole requirement I have.

Quote from Tobias

Ron Howard: You know, a father doesn't really like to hear that when it comes to his daughter.
Tobias: I haven't had a chance to talk to her father.
Michael: Yeah, I have not yet had a chance to talk to her father, but...
Tobias: No, no. I was saying that. Because you are talking to her father.
Ron Howard: Did you not know that I'm Rebel's dad?
Michael: I knew that part. But I also... I thought that you might also be her...
Tobias: Her lover?
Michael: No.
Tobias: Well, this is hardly an episode of Happy Days. I get it. I was arrested as a sex offender, but at least I knew it was my daughter I was arrested for coming on to. [chuckles] Now, about my project, it's a family piece.

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: [on reel] I'm Dr. House, and it's called GVH. The graft is rejecting the host.