Narrator: And so Tobias, hoping to straighten out his image, set out on a new start. Beginning with a trip to the airport in an outfit he pretty much put together himself.
Tobias: I guess this is why you never see them driving convertibles.
Narrator: I'll have to check on that one. But it certainly wasn't embraced...
Lindsay: Stay in your lane, anus tart!
Cab Driver: [bleep] Anus tart!
Narrator: ...by the local Indian community.

Narrator: Tobias knew it was time to find out what he was truly meant to do. So when he came across a book the universe had placed in his path, he was open to its inspiration.
Tobias: They're still reading it, but... Well, I guess I can leave them some Love.
Narrator: So he just took Eat and Pray. Eat was easy, although it provided no cosmic answers for him. But it was the part about India that really got to him. And so, like the heroine of Eat, Pray-
Tobias: Wait a minute.
Narrator: Tobias decided to get as far away from his wife as possible.
Narrator & Tobias: And so Tobias found himself booking passage to India.

Lindsay: There's nothing keeping us together. It's time to give up our dreams if they're not working. You know, your acting career, this marriage that everyone thinks is a sham because you're gay.
Tobias: I'm- I'm sorry. Everyone thinks I'm gay?
Lindsay: Well, I mean, it's kind of a running joke in the family. I mean, you know that, right? 'Cause of the misleading way you talk sometimes.
Tobias: You're saying the way I talk makes me sound gay? When in the last year have I said anything remotely-
[11 seconds earlier:]
Tobias: [sings] It's just a phallus...see!
[present:]
Tobias: misleading? Is this because I want to be an actor and all the leading men in Hollywood are gay?
Lindsay: I don't think that all the leading men in Hollywood are gay.
Tobias: Oh, honey.