Michael Quote #382
Quote from Michael in The B. Team
Narrator: With Michael's movie in jeopardy over the rights, he decided to call in a favor.
Michael: You know, we're making a movie about the family, and I thought, "I wonder if Carl Weathers would be willing to help me out."
Carl Weathers: Let me ask you this right up front.
Michael: Okay.
Carl Weathers: Do you think anybody would be upset if one of these Crinch dolls took a walk?
Michael: No, no, help yourself. I know what you're thinking. "What part would I play in this?"
Carl Weathers: I figured you'd want me to play me.
Michael: Well, I didn't want to waste you on you. In fact, I wasn't even going to talk to you about acting, but if you are game, boy, that would be great. Let's circle back to that. There's a television show, was it, that you made about my family.
Narrator: Michael was referring to the George Bluth Sr. episode of a horribly narrated crime reenactment series called Scandalmakers that Carl had directed years earlier.
Michael: Did you retain the rights to my father's story?
Carl Weathers: No, man, rights cost money. I never bothered with that stuff. I figure you go ahead, you shoot it. Better to ask for forgiveness than beg for permission.
Narrator: As it turned out, Carl had never bothered to get either, which is why he made himself the subject of the final episode of the series.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘The B. Team’ Quotes
Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn
Michael: [on the phone] Barry, you still there?
Barry: So I got a really interesting call from Ron Howard, of all people. He's directing now, apparently, and wants to meet you at his office in, get this, Beverly Hills.
Michael: Why does Ron- Why does Ron Howard want to meet with me?
Barry: I don't know. His office didn't say. And if you don't mind, I'm a little busy with a case of my own.
Michael: Did you get any other information?
Barry: Apparently, he directed a movie called Cocoon.
Michael: Sorry. I was unclear about why he wants to meet with me.
Barry: I don't know. You want me to tell him to go [bleep] himself? I can tell Ron Howard to go [bleep] himself.
Tell him to shove it up his [bleep]. I just can't do it now because I'm in front of a jury.
Michael: Barry, I will meet with him. Wait- You're in front of a jury right now?
Barry: Oh, and the looks I'm getting. Got to go. [hangs up] Sorry, everybody. I'm an attorney, too.
Quote from Narrator
Narrator: Michael was driving a car from a company that shows every private residence in the country. But it's also a company that won't let us show the car that takes those pictures. In fairness to them, it is their property. If you want to know what the company is... [horn honks]
Michael: Save it. We're just going to blur it anyway.
Narrator: ...all you have to do is "something" it.
Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn
Bob Loblaw: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like the defendant to reach over the school gate, open it from the inside and enter the school property, please.
Barry: I can't reach it. I can't reach the knob.
Bob Loblaw: Why is that, Mr. Zuckerkorn?
Barry: I'm not tall enough.
Bob Loblaw: You're not tall enough.
Barry: I can't reach the Chachi. Hey, should I try tippy-toe? Look, I'm on tippy-toes.
Bob Loblaw: If he can't reach, this trial's a breach.
Barry: Oh, and that's what we call a Law Bomb.
Man: That's a low blow, Loblaw.
Bob Loblaw: A Bob Loblaw Law Bomb.