Man: Could I have the Bluth family over here, please? And over here, the victims of the Bluth family?
Narrator: And that's when Lindsay found a Iabel more fitting than "Bluth."
Tobias: No, Lindsay, you're going to the wrong area. Kenny, Chet, Curtis, Mike, Bix, and Gator are over here. We should be over here at the Bluth area with Gob and Buster and, uh... Uh... Your brother, uh... Michael?
Lindsay: Michael.
Tobias: Yes. Sorry. I was thinking of Mike, the hot seaman.
Lindsay: I've spent years trying to fit into this family, and it's not me. My life is a fallacy.
Tobias: Oh... [sings] Is that a gall see? No, it's just a phallus... see! We loved that. Where's that from?

Narrator: On the top of a hillside, deep in the mountains of Shuturmurg, India, sits a mystical retreat long sought out by those seeking answers...
Lindsay: Is this real?
Narrator: ...to the questions that define us.
Lindsay: I mean, is any of this real? How do I know what's real?
Narrator: This is Lindsay Bluth Fünke.
Animesh: You see me before you, yes? I am real to you. And this bag next to me, it is as real as you or me.
Lindsay: No, I know that one's real. I meant the other one, the Louis Vuitton. I don't remember Vuitton having two E's.
Narrator: The hillside was also known for their bargains on designer handbags.
Animesh: That's how they do it here. You can't go wrong. Best bag on the mountain.
Jaideep: I love this bag. I give you 60 for it. It's the best bag on the mountain.
Lindsay: Excuse me. I'll give you $70.
Animesh: I just promised it to her.
Narrator: Lindsay Bluth had come to India for both reasons.
Lindsay: $120.
Animesh: You just bought the best bag on the mountain. Congratulations.
Jaideep: Best bag on the mountain.

Lucille: They are persecuting me. It was an accident. This is ridiculous! If I'd told them we were taking a bunch of gays out there to get married, they'd have thrown me a parade. Let's tell them we were taking a bunch of gays to get married.
Lindsay: Yeah, I don't think your record on that issue is going to back that up, Mom.
Narrator: In fact, it was an issue of the Bay Window magazine that would most damage her with the gay community.
Lucille: Fine. We'll say they took it on a joyride. And you have no right to criticize me. At least I was able to turn my Queen around.
Tobias: None taken.
Narrator: This is Tobias Fünke, who should have taken more.
Lindsay: You cannot say one nice thing to your daughter, can you?
Lucille: Adopted daughter. And that's not true.