Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.

Michael: You're going to rehab again?
Lucille: I'm bringing Lindsay. I'm worried about her.
Lindsay: Did you get the corkscrew?
Michael: So there's going to be wine at the rehab, huh?
Lindsay: Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
Michael: [to Lucille] How do you come up with these?

Michael: And so you just finished off the bottle?
Lindsay: Well, I had to. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened.
Michael: I think that's another one of Mom's little fibs. You know, like "I'll sacrifice anything for my children."