TV Quotes

Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.

Michael: You're going to rehab again?
Lucille: I'm bringing Lindsay. I'm worried about her.
Lindsay: Did you get the corkscrew?
Michael: So there's going to be wine at the rehab, huh?
Lindsay: Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
Michael: [to Lucille] How do you come up with these?

George Michael: Well, maybe we're gonna end up together in the banana stand someday.
Michael: Mm. Well, there's always money in the banana stand.
George Michael: Right.
Michael: Where is that from? Is that from something?

Michael: It never made sense, because, you know, he doesn't fit in with those people, and I think that George Michael and I are gonna be closer than ever. He's gonna need a father... still needs a father. The only mother figure he's ever had in his life was...
Gob: Oh, it was Mom.
Michael: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Huh, poor kid.
Gob: I can't imagine.
Michael: Nor can I.
Gob: Wait, we had Mom.
Michael: You know, in a way, she was our mom.