Tobias Quote #144

Quote from Tobias in The Ocean Walker

Michael: What are you doing in a wheelchair?
Tobias: No, no, no, it's a dolly to help videotape your nuptials.
Michael: I don't think I need any footage of my nuptials. Tobias, are you sure that this dolly isn't related to your recent health problems?
Tobias: Okay, so my legs and my left arm occasionally "go to sleep," and you want to call it a health problem.


 ‘The Ocean Walker’ Quotes

Quote from George Sr.

Michael: The wedding is in one month.
Lucille: A month?!
George Sr.: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD.
Lucille: It was Stuckey's.
George Sr.: But I believed you.

Quote from Buster

Michael: I can't believe you're not supporting this.
George Sr.: Because it is obvious what she's after.
Lucille: Our money.
Buster: Oh, God, our money!
Michael: Let's just all relax, and remind ourselves that we don't have any money.
Buster: [gasps] She's already gotten our money!

 Tobias Funke Quotes

Quote from Exit Strategy

Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.

Quote from The Immaculate Election

Narrator: Lindsay was about to find a replacement for Lupe as well.
Lucille: Who is it?
Tobias: [o.s.] [high-pitched voice; British accent] The new housekeeper. The agency sent me over.
Lucille: I'm sorry. I didn't call any-
Tobias: [enters] Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones. I can also, uh, sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. [sings] When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat Before we take our medications...
Narrator: Tobias had gained access to the studio's wardrobe and makeup department. He was eager to both see his daughter and prove to his wife that he had what it took to be an actor. It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.
Tobias: In the most delicious way...
Narrator: There was also some Mary Poppins in there.
Lindsay: Let's get this house cleaned.