Tobias Quote #128

Quote from Tobias in For British Eyes Only

Gob: Hey, he's the one who can't see me.
Michael: 'Cause you were hiding in the trick?
Tobias: Illusion, Michael. I so very much would like to be in your "prostate-ticular". As your look-alike.
Gob: Right. They're going to see the ink. It's more of a leading man role. But it's not really done that way.
Tobias: I guess I shouldn't have used a permanent marker.


 ‘For British Eyes Only’ Quotes

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: I knew you wouldn't have the gut to go through with the divorce.
Lindsay: You're one to talk. You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife. And you guys, weren't even speaking toward the end.
Michael: Lot of that was the coma.
Lindsay: Yeah, I've heard your side of it.

Quote from Buster

Buster: Mother, have you seen my rubber hand?
Lucille: Oh, it's in the dishwasher. Your father and I were using it for something.
Buster: Oh, for God's sake. Can't you keep my hand to yourself?!

 Tobias Funke Quotes

Quote from Exit Strategy

Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.

Quote from The Immaculate Election

Narrator: Lindsay was about to find a replacement for Lupe as well.
Lucille: Who is it?
Tobias: [o.s.] [high-pitched voice; British accent] The new housekeeper. The agency sent me over.
Lucille: I'm sorry. I didn't call any-
Tobias: [enters] Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones. I can also, uh, sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. [sings] When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat Before we take our medications...
Narrator: Tobias had gained access to the studio's wardrobe and makeup department. He was eager to both see his daughter and prove to his wife that he had what it took to be an actor. It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.
Tobias: In the most delicious way...
Narrator: There was also some Mary Poppins in there.
Lindsay: Let's get this house cleaned.