Lindsay Quote #119

Quote from Lindsay in Sword of Destiny

Michael: That was a very important phone call.
Lindsay: I don't have much time, Michael. Tobias is about to walk in here any minute asking for a job, and I need you to hire him.
Michael: [answers phone] Hi. I'm sor- [Lindsay hangs up again] Look, it isn't my idea, it's his. But I need a break from Mrs. Featherbottom.
Narrator: Since moving out, Tobias had been pretending to be a British housekeeper as a way to be close to his family. However, his desire to now be discovered as himself was becoming bothersome.
Michael: Can't you just tell him you know that he's Mrs. Featherbottom?
Lindsay: Oh, no, no, no. She's the only one who can hand wash my delicates.
Michael: Yeah, the real Tobias wouldn't do that.


 ‘Sword of Destiny’ Quotes

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Michael: What?
Tobias: The reason that you can't accept my help is the same reason you can't hear that gentleman's idea, because you have to be in total control of everything. And it's going to make you sick if you can't let go.

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Wouldn't do what?
Lindsay: Be Michael's assistant.
Tobias: [chuckles] Well, that's what I came down here to ask about. I think you'll find me more than qualified.
Michael: It's really not that simple. Uh, you'd have to submit a resume.
Tobias: Booyah!
Michael: Wow. Gobias Industries.
Tobias: Gobias.
Michael: Right.
Tobias: As in "Go buy us a cup of-"
Michael: I remember, yeah.

 Lindsay Bluth-Funke Quotes

Quote from Everyone Gets Atrophy

Michael: You're running for office now?
Lindsay: [chuckles] As a matter of fact, I am. I want to be part of the problem.

Quote from S.O.B.s

Narrator: Michael had asked Lindsay to take care of the house, and to his surprise-
Michael: You're sort of doing it.
Narrator: ...she was sort of doing it.
Lindsay: Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we'd had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I'm calling it?
Michael: Soup?
Lindsay: Hot ham water.