Gob Quote #196

Quote from Gob in Sword of Destiny

Narrator: In fact, Gob was at Ancient Chinese Secret at that moment, but not for a migraine.
Gob: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick, want slow. Wait, that's Indian. Tea for dong. [a woman speaks her native language in the back room] Sweet blade.
Asian Man: It's the Sword of Destiny. It's full of ancient magic.
Gob: Oh, yeah? You into magic? Still, where'd the lighter fluid come from? So, is it for sale? I could use it in my act.
Asian Man: Maybe. Sword of Destiny hundreds of years old. Come with ancient story of warning and-
Gob: Yeah, I make up my own patter. Just ring it up with the dong tea.

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 ‘Sword of Destiny’ Quotes

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Michael: What?
Tobias: The reason that you can't accept my help is the same reason you can't hear that gentleman's idea, because you have to be in total control of everything. And it's going to make you sick if you can't let go.

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Wouldn't do what?
Lindsay: Be Michael's assistant.
Tobias: [chuckles] Well, that's what I came down here to ask about. I think you'll find me more than qualified.
Michael: It's really not that simple. Uh, you'd have to submit a resume.
Tobias: Booyah!
Michael: Wow. Gobias Industries.
Tobias: Gobias.
Michael: Right.
Tobias: As in "Go buy us a cup of-"
Michael: I remember, yeah.

Quote from Tobias

Dr. Stein: But I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours.
Lucille: Appendix? I don't buy it. Could be a hernia.
Tobias: Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.