Tobias Quote #98
Quote from Tobias in Motherboy XXX
Michael: You're up awful early.
Lindsay: Well, my marriage is falling apart. Tobias is back with Carl.
Narrator: Tobias had gotten a call from his one-time acting teacher, Carl Weathers.
[flashback:]
Tobias: He's directing something for TV, but he thinks he might have a part for me. If this takes off, I might be able to buy you the happiness that you deserve.
[present:]
Lindsay: He said the same thing when he got cast as Frightened Inmate Number Two in that film he got fired from.
Narrator: He had even gotten a vanity plate made up announcing the achievement. And this wasn't the first time.
[montage of a glum Tobias knocking over vanity plates reading INM8 2, BLUMN, CONMAN2, DRHOUSE]
More Arrested Development Quotes
‘Motherboy XXX’ Quotes
Quote from Buster
Michael: Where do we go next?
Buster: I will tell you this, Michael. If Mother saw those two, she is going to change clothes. And that means he'll be on the balcony. Whenever she changed clothes, she made me wait on the balcony until zip-up. And yet, anything goes at bath time.
Quote from Maeby
Michael: George Michael, I don't think you should be going on this Promise Land thing.
George Michael: What? Why? Because I'd miss school?
Michael: No.
Maeby: You get to miss school for that?
Narrator: And that's when Maeby decided to become a devout Christian.
Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the "T" on it?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?
Tobias Funke Quotes
Quote from Exit Strategy
Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.
Quote from The Immaculate Election
Narrator: Lindsay was about to find a replacement for Lupe as well.
Lucille: Who is it?
Tobias: [o.s.] [high-pitched voice; British accent] The new housekeeper. The agency sent me over.
Lucille: I'm sorry. I didn't call any-
Tobias: [enters] Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones. I can also, uh, sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. [sings] When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat Before we take our medications...
Narrator: Tobias had gained access to the studio's wardrobe and makeup department. He was eager to both see his daughter and prove to his wife that he had what it took to be an actor. It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.
Tobias: In the most delicious way...
Narrator: There was also some Mary Poppins in there.
Lindsay: Let's get this house cleaned.