TV Quotes

Michael: Now tell me what you found out at Sitwell.
Lindsay: Oh. You still want me to do that?
Michael: You didn't? Lindsay, I give you one thing to do for the business, and you can't even do it. I mean, if you'd tried and failed, I'd understand, but you didn't even try.
Lindsay: So, I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.

Michael: Michael Bluth arrived home to find his mother, Lucille in a state of agitation.
Lucille: I think the company's in trouble.
Michael: What tipped you? The falling profits or that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's "Most Ridiculous Item of the Day"?
Lucille: I'm talking about the fact that my "friend" Lucille Austero bought our company and I think she's going for a power grab, [shouts] that bitch!
Michael: You're not at home, Mom. She doesn't live next door when you're here.

Narrator: Lindsay was about to find a replacement for Lupe as well.
Lucille: Who is it?
Tobias: [o.s.] [high-pitched voice; British accent] The new housekeeper. The agency sent me over.
Lucille: I'm sorry. I didn't call any-
Tobias: [enters] Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones. I can also, uh, sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. [sings] When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat Before we take our medications...
Narrator: Tobias had gained access to the studio's wardrobe and makeup department. He was eager to both see his daughter and prove to his wife that he had what it took to be an actor. It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.
Tobias: In the most delicious way...
Narrator: There was also some Mary Poppins in there.
Lindsay: Let's get this house cleaned.

Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.