TV Quotes

Narrator: This is Michael Bluth. Right now he's taking his son, George Michael, to start a new life in Arizona.
Michael: Phoenix, Arizona, huh? This is it, boy. We are free. We're gonna follow our dreams, you know? And the best part of it? Not workin' for the family anymore.
George Michael: Yeah, but don't- don't you always say "family first"?
Michael: Yes, I do. But that is not a family, okay? They're a bunch of greedy, selfish people who have our nose. And Aunt Lindsay.
George Michael: She's not my real aunt?
Michael: Not a real nose. Got a picture of her when she's 14 in a swimming cap. She looks like a falcon.

Lindsay: Michael, maybe the reason why you always come back is because you need us more than we need you.
Michael: Oh, that's rich. Huh. I need you. All right, I'll tell you what. Mom, you're always asking me to help you look after Buster. You can find somebody else. I hope she doesn't kill you.
Buster: I'll kill her first.
Michael: And good luck trying to find someone else to run the business, by the way. Gob, instead of always coming to me asking me for money saying, "I've made a huge mistake", you can bail yourself out next time.
Gob: [chuckles] I've never admitted to a mistake. What would I have made a mistake about?
Michael: Lindsay, instead of sleeping in twin beds, you and your husband take the master bedroom. It's not like you've never come to me with your marital problems saying, "Oh, help me, Michael. I think my husband might be a"- [horn blares]
Tobias: Oh! Well- It's-
Michael: Here we go.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

Lucille: Don't you judge me. You're the selfish one. You're the one who charged his own brother for a Bluth frozen banana. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?
Michael: You've never actually set foot in a supermarket, have you?