TV Quotes

Narrator: This is Michael Bluth. Right now he's taking his son, George Michael, to start a new life in Arizona.
Michael: Phoenix, Arizona, huh? This is it, boy. We are free. We're gonna follow our dreams, you know? And the best part of it? Not workin' for the family anymore.
George Michael: Yeah, but don't- don't you always say "family first"?
Michael: Yes, I do. But that is not a family, okay? They're a bunch of greedy, selfish people who have our nose. And Aunt Lindsay.
George Michael: She's not my real aunt?
Michael: Not a real nose. Got a picture of her when she's 14 in a swimming cap. She looks like a falcon.

Lindsay: Michael, maybe the reason why you always come back is because you need us more than we need you.
Michael: Oh, that's rich. Huh. I need you. All right, I'll tell you what. Mom, you're always asking me to help you look after Buster. You can find somebody else. I hope she doesn't kill you.
Buster: I'll kill her first.
Michael: And good luck trying to find someone else to run the business, by the way. Gob, instead of always coming to me asking me for money saying, "I've made a huge mistake", you can bail yourself out next time.
Gob: [chuckles] I've never admitted to a mistake. What would I have made a mistake about?
Michael: Lindsay, instead of sleeping in twin beds, you and your husband take the master bedroom. It's not like you've never come to me with your marital problems saying, "Oh, help me, Michael. I think my husband might be a"- [horn blares]
Tobias: Oh! Well- It's-
Michael: Here we go.

Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Michael: So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now, even though it's just a title.
Gob: Uh, right. Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
Michael: Circumvent.
Gob: "Circumverate."
Michael: Circumvent. Means to go around.
Gob: The old reach around.
Michael: Trust me. This makes you look like a leader. Okay?
Gob: I don't think that I need any help with that. [framed "Never Give Up" inspirational poster falls from the wall and smashes] [bleep] it. Just leave it where it is.