Maeby Quote #161
Quote from Maeby in Taste Makers
Maeby: I don't understand the problem. I thought Rebel said she was gonna buy the company.
George Michael: Well, I'm not gonna sell a bogus company to my girlfriend.
Maeby: Why not? It's the perfect way to end a terrible relationship.
George Michael: It's not terrible. It's- It's a great relationship.
Maeby: Yes, but it won't be once you sell her a shitty company. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You're more impossible to talk to than Annette.
George Michael: You talk to Annette?
Maeby: No. But Stan does. And as much as we try to infuriate him, he won't get the hint. What do I gotta do, hit him on the head? But, next thing you know, he's back from the hospital.
George Michael: So you actually did hit him?
Maeby: Yeah, just with a wine bottle, but it wasn't open. I guess I could do it again, but I just can't send him back to the ER again, you know? Three times in one week. People are gonna start asking, you know, elderly abuse? [sighs] Which apparently is a real thing. I guess all old people are this annoying.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘Taste Makers’ Quotes
Quote from Maeby
Maeby: Well, that explains why Maeby's credit cards aren't working.
George Michael: Maeby's credit cards?
Maeby: Oh, sorry. The minute I put the teeth in, I become a completely different person. [chuckles] Speaking of which, there's your solution. We both have alter egos, and I think it's about time we killed them off. What do you say? George Maharis can have a heart attack. Maeby gets hit by a bus.
George Michael: You're killing off Maeby?
Maeby: Yup, see you.
George Michael: I know Annette can be forgetful, but she remembers Maeby is the dominant personality, right?
Maeby: Hey, I got a pretty sweet setup here. Okay? I finally got rid of my beloved Stan. He's in the hospital, massive head injury. Free rent. New neighbors every six to eight months. Also, Maeby doesn't even have a high school diploma. Not a good move, given the world my generation is leaving hers.
George Michael: I'm glad it's easy for you, but me and George Maharis have the same teeth. [Maeby chuckles] People are gonna figure it out. If I'm not arrested for fraud, I'll be in debt for life. I'm gonna end up in my old bedroom.
Maeby: Yeah. It's six o'clock. I'm already an hour and a half late for dinner. And I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself, but, uh... Annette, she like-a the pasta, hmm? [sings] How did you ever find me?
Quote from Tobias
Tobias: All right, look, we're in a bad situation here. But, I've been jammed with bigger things in tighter spots than this.
Quote from Maeby
George Michael: I was this close to telling Rebel the whole truth: that you fired everyone months ago, and the thing is a fraud. Then we open the doors, and the place is abuzz. She totally bought it. She wants to invest now.
I don't know how you did it, but it was great. You got people there for the day.
Maeby: I didn't hire anybody for the day.
George Michael: Then where did those people come from? The place was wall-to-wall nerds.
Maeby: Yeah, this is making sense. Those people that you saw didn't come in for the day. They never left. Remember when I said I fired everybody? What I did was, I asked Joan in HR to fire everybody for me. And then, so I didn't have to make two phone calls, I fired her there on the spot.
George Michael: So you fired the person in charge of...
Maeby: Firing. Yes. So, you know, you fire the person in HR last. That's the lesson here. But, hey, this is how you learn in business, am I right?
George Michael: You mean we're still somehow paying these people?
Maeby: Well, we're not paying Joan in HR. Gotta give me credit for that one.