Gob Quote #356

Quote from Gob in Blockheads

Gob: Boy, am I glad you're here. I need money and it's not for what you think, for a magic show or a bee colony. It's to pay the builders I hired to start building the fake wall between Mexico and America.
George Sr.: Shh. Are you crazy? Lucille 2 is around here.
Gob: Well, don't worry about Lucille 2. I'll handle her. It's just that I need to pay the Chinese.
George Sr.: Wait, wait. You hired Chinese?
Gob: Well, I figured, who better than the Chinese to build a wall? But, no, I couldn't afford them, so I hired, um... They're technically Mongols, I guess. They're the people that they built the wall to try to keep out.
George Sr.: How many- How many did you hire?
Gob: A horde. That's the minimum. They don't come in anything less than a horde.
George Sr.: So you hired a Mongol horde.
Gob: Look, Dad, I just... If they don't get their money soon, they're gonna be really mad and then they're gonna have a major Mongolian beef with us. There they are.
George Sr.: We don't have any money.
Gob: Well, he says that we don't have any money.

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 ‘Blockheads’ Quotes

Quote from Gob

Narrator: And now wishing he'd actually packed the bag, George Michael aimlessly headed out onto the campus where, as fate would have it, he ran into his beeping uncle.
George Michael: [bleep]. What are you doing here?
Gob: I was in the neighborhood. I happened to remember how much you love bologna.
George Michael: Huh?
Gob: So, yeah, I just I found this great ShopRite and I just thought, "You know who's got to have a taste of this, "is young George Michael."
Narrator: He didn't think George Michael liked bologna. He was trying to correct a bad impression he felt he might have made with his nephew a few nights earlier.
George Michael: My God, Uncle Gob, what is this?
Gob: Can't lie to you, George Michael, it's a Forget-Me-Now. I wanted you to forget what happened at that magic club. I was embarrassed.
George Michael: If you don't want me to tell anyone about it, I won't.
Gob: I'm such a fool. I go to those things too quickly. Really, it's just the age we live in, isn't it? Take a pill to forget your problems. Take a pill to go to sleep. And take a pill to forget your problems. Need an erection, take a pill. Need to forget your problems, take a pill. Take a pill and your problems are forgotten. Take a pill. What an age we live in. It's great, isn't it?

Quote from George Michael

Narrator: George Michael shared his relationship problem with the one other woman he'd had a relationship problem with.
George Michael: Well, she's not really my girlfriend. I mean, I'm crazy about her, but she wants to keep things anonymous, and I don't know how to do that.
Maeby: Oh, that's ridiculous.
George Michael: Right.
Maeby: You haven't told her your real name yet, have you?
George Michael: What? No, no. No, she still thinks I'm George Maharis. But she's dating another guy, which is probably the whole reason she's always saying I'm moving too fast. I take things too seriously. I take things too serious. I take things too seriously. I need to note which one of those is correct, because I sound like a horse's ass when I alternate between the two of them. I need to get my [bleep] together.
Maeby: Yeah.
George Michael: But the point is that I take things... easily-breezily.
Maeby: Well, a real serioush woman knows what she wants and moves quickly.
George Michael: "Serioush" is nothing. That's not a word.

 Gob Bluth Quotes

Quote from Emotional Baggage

Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Quote from iAmigos!

Michael: So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now, even though it's just a title.
Gob: Uh, right. Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
Michael: Circumvent.
Gob: "Circumverate."
Michael: Circumvent. Means to go around.
Gob: The old reach around.
Michael: Trust me. This makes you look like a leader. Okay?
Gob: I don't think that I need any help with that. [framed "Never Give Up" inspirational poster falls from the wall and smashes] [bleep] it. Just leave it where it is.