Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

George Sr.: [on TV] I didn't quite hear that. The reception is bad. But as the Talmud tells us... [static] to the jackal as to an oxen. [laughs] Did it get a laugh?

Lupe: Good-bye, Missus. [Lucille searches Lupe's handbag]
Michael: Well, Lindsay, you'll be happy to know that I have a new idea. I met a publicist today. I'm gonna hire her. We need somebody to make us look good.
Lucille: And I say it's a waste of money. We're plenty sympathetic as we are. [to Lupe] Is this your onion?
Lupe: Yes.
Lucille: What's in the foil?
Lupe: Nothing. It's a ball of foil for my son.
Lucille: Have a great day, sweetie.
Michael: I don't know how she can't.