TV Quotes

Narrator: George Sr. had used his considerable means to stage intricate scenarios to teach his children what he considered valuable life lessons.
George Sr.: I need help.
J. Walter Weatherman: I'll get my gear.
Narrator: Typically, these scenarios would involve a man named J. Walter Weatherman a one-time employee who lost his arm in a Bluth Company construction accident.
Young Gob: [hitting Buster] Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
George Sr.: We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note. [tires screech] [kids scream] Why? If someone had left a note this- this innocent man would still have his arm. Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

Gob: Didn't Dad teach us that we don't yell in this family?
[flashback to the Bluth kids screaming on the boat:]
J. Walter Weatherman: Tell me before you hit the gas.
George Sr.: I can't hear you! The kids are yelling.
J. Walter Weatherman: Tell me before you hit the gas.
George Sr.: I guess you're saying, "Hit the gas."
J. Walter Weatherman: Don't! Wait! [screams as the boat sets off and his arm is ripped off] No! That's why you don't yell.

Gob: So, what's up?
George Michael: I, uh, need you to make some fake I.D.'s for me and Maeby.
Gob: Like a passport?
George Michael: Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.

Maeby: You would've had to lie about scuba, 'cause you would've been scared.
George Michael: Why do you say I'm scared of scuba? I'm not.
Maeby: You passed out at the aquarium.
George Michael: Well, they make you feel like you're underwater with all these giant...
Maeby: Dolphins?
George Michael: I still think that was some kind of smiling, kind of bemused baby shark.