TV Quotes

Michael: You guys were not sharing a bedroom before?
Lindsay: Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on.
Michael: Yeah. What's the deal with the cutoffs?
Lindsay: You've got to promise not to tell anyone this.
Michael: Okay.
Lindsay: He's a never-nude.
Michael: Is that exactly what it sounds like?

Narrator: Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction of never being able to be completely naked.
[flashback to Tobias emerging from a dressing room:]
Tobias: Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder?
[flashback to Tobias in a doctor's office:]
Proctologist: Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed.
Tobias: I am completely undressed.
[present:]
Michael: I thought he just liked cutoffs.
Lindsay: Me too.

Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Michael: So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now, even though it's just a title.
Gob: Uh, right. Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
Michael: Circumvent.
Gob: "Circumverate."
Michael: Circumvent. Means to go around.
Gob: The old reach around.
Michael: Trust me. This makes you look like a leader. Okay?
Gob: I don't think that I need any help with that. [framed "Never Give Up" inspirational poster falls from the wall and smashes] [bleep] it. Just leave it where it is.