TV Quotes

Michael: Shouldn't Buster be spending his evenings with women that aren't so much his mother?
Lucille: He's a beautiful boy. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses. They make him look like a lizard. Plus, he's self-conscious.
Michael: Gee, I wonder why.
Lucille: You're one to talk. When's the last time you went on a date?
Michael: I just haven't met anybody who's not self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

Lucille: He's fine. I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know, there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals. [cackles]

George Michael: Well, maybe we're gonna end up together in the banana stand someday.
Michael: Mm. Well, there's always money in the banana stand.
George Michael: Right.
Michael: Where is that from? Is that from something?

Michael: It never made sense, because, you know, he doesn't fit in with those people, and I think that George Michael and I are gonna be closer than ever. He's gonna need a father... still needs a father. The only mother figure he's ever had in his life was...
Gob: Oh, it was Mom.
Michael: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Huh, poor kid.
Gob: I can't imagine.
Michael: Nor can I.
Gob: Wait, we had Mom.
Michael: You know, in a way, she was our mom.