TV Quotes

George Sr.: Let him go. Let your son go.
Michael: I can't do that, Dad. He needs me.
George Sr.: Michael, you don't want to make the same mistake your mom made with Buster.
Michael: Yeah, boy. What happened there?
George Sr.: I really don't know. Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus, but... He was our miracle baby, you know? And l-I was just too burned out on raising you guys to care. So, he turned out a little, uh, soft. [Buster yawns] A little doughy. [Buster yawns more loudly] I don't know. Maybe- Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I just ignored the guy.
Buster: Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we?
Michael: Yeah, I gotta let my son go.

Narrator: Back at the model home, Michael was adjusting to the absence of his son, by enjoying the company of his brother.
Michael: You know, I'm in pretty good shape. You could be eating my dust all day, slowpoke.
Narrator: And Buster was starting to give as good as he got.
Buster: Yeah. And you might be eating... [bleep] [bleeping continues]
Michael: Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Narrator: George Sr. had used his considerable means to stage intricate scenarios to teach his children what he considered valuable life lessons.
George Sr.: I need help.
J. Walter Weatherman: I'll get my gear.
Narrator: Typically, these scenarios would involve a man named J. Walter Weatherman a one-time employee who lost his arm in a Bluth Company construction accident.
Young Gob: [hitting Buster] Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
George Sr.: We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note. [tires screech] [kids scream] Why? If someone had left a note this- this innocent man would still have his arm. Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

George Sr.: You got to get me out of here.
Michael: You're the one that said no to prison.
George Sr.: I was wrong. There, you just have it to shut your eyes and take it. Here, you have shut your eyes and give it. Now, listen, we can't go in there and plead "not guilty". We have to have someone big behind us, our own private Matlock. So I made calls and I got him.
Michael: Got who?
George Sr.: Andy Griffith. What, you never saw Matlock?
Michael: Not a real attorney, Dad.
George Sr.: Now, for ten grand, he'll actually sit behind us in court and read the paper. For 15, he'll actually sit at the defense table. For $20,000, he'll twice lean forward and whisper something in your ear. Oh. White suit, that's extra.
Michael: Boy, that's an awful lot of money for the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
George Sr.: The juries love him.