Narrator: Michael came home to find his brother-in-law Tobias, who'd been kicked out of the house earlier that week.
Tobias: Michael. How are you?
Michael: Good. Didn't I already see you today?
Tobias: Not that I know of.
Narrator: Michael had seen him earlier that day as Tobias had been posing as an English nanny named Mrs.
Featherbottom.
[flashback:]
Tobias: [high-pitched voice; British accent] Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.
Narrator: The family, of course, knew it was Tobias but the house had never been cleaner.

Tobias: Hello, young lady. I haven't seen you in a week.
Maeby: Oh. Right. That means Mrs. Featherbottom isn't here. Which means she didn't iron my blouse which means I don't have anything to wear for my premiere. The premier... of Canada. He's going out with my gym teacher.
Narrator: Maeby was actually referring to the premiere of a film from the studio where she had conned her way into a job.
[flashback:]
Maeby: Oh, hey, Jeff. Did you get a chance to do coverage on "Voices in America: History and Perspective"?
Jeff: Yeah. I looked that up. It's a ninth grade history textbook.
Maeby: Yeah. And if I don't get your report on it, I won't be able to pass... on it. Because I have a feeling it's a piece of [bleep]
[present:]
Narrator: Unfortunately, the job was wreaking havoc with her language.
Maeby: Maybe we just need a new [bleep] housekeeper.
Tobias: Okay. I'm sure she would have ironed it for you had you told her about it before she changed out of her bloody work clothes. But I am off then.
Maeby: Well, I gotta keep him trying. And that is the job.

Tobias: [high-pitched voice; British accent] Jolly news, governor. Young master's proposing.
Michael: George Michael? I told him not to. He said he wouldn't.
Tobias: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of veal.
Michael: He saw that? Where is he?
Tobias: Oh, he left with Lady Lindsay-
Michael: Tobias, where are they?
Tobias: [normal voice] It is me. It's Tobias.