Narrator: Tobias had recently hired actor Carl Weathers as a drama coach.
Tobias: Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor or more the beloved comic actor?
Carl Weathers: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! There's still plenty of meat on that bone. You take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato... Baby, you got a stew goin'.
Tobias: Yes, that's fine. But I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1,100.
Carl Weathers: Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice, with Anne Archer. Never once touched my per diem. I go to craft service, get some raw veggies, bacon, cup of soup... Baby, I had a stew goin'.
Tobias: I think I'd like my money back.

Narrator: And the family gathered to watch a videotape George Sr. had sent Lindsay and Tobias for their anniversary.
George Sr.: [on video] Hello, I'm George Bluth and for the next 45 minutes let me take you on a journey...
Lucille: Good grief. He sent us one of his idiot videotapes.
George Sr.: First this..
Video Announcer: You've seen George Bluth on videotape.
George Sr.: [montage on tape] You have got to learn to be alone. I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.
Prisoner: [on tape] Caged Wisdom changed my life.
Video Announcer: Now is your chance to own the entire George Bluth Caged Wisdom library for only four payments of 19.95.

George Michael: Besides, I don't even care. I mean, first, you said share a room with her, I shared a room with her. Now you're saying don't share a room with her. Fine. I'm just doing whatever you say. You know, the adults making all the decisions around here. Why am I in trouble?
Lindsay: You're not in trouble. We're all just gonna have a more normal arrangement. I'm gonna sleep with my daughter, and you're gonna sleep with my husband.