Lindsay: It's been crazy. We just had an amazing fund-raiser for HOOP.
Michael: HOOP?
Lucille: My anti-circumcision movement.
[flashback:]
Lindsay: I think it looks frightening when it's cut off. It's a Doberman. Let it have its ears.

Michael: I was so loyal. I worked so hard. Why didn't you just put me in charge?
George Sr.: Michael, listen to me. These guys, the S.E.C., they've been after me for years. I put you in charge, you're gonna be wearing one of these jumpsuits too.
Michael: I could've helped-
George Sr.: You'd be an accomplice. No. It had to be your mom. [whispers] They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.
Michael: Yeah, I don't think that that's true, Dad.
George Sr.: Really? [sighs] I got the worst [bleep] attorneys.

Narrator: This is Michael Bluth. For 10 years, he's worked for his father's company waiting to be made a partner. And right now, he's happy. This is Michael's mother.
Lucille: Look what they've done, Michael.
Narrator: She isn't happy.
Lucille: Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
Michael: You can't just comb that out and reset it?
Narrator: Currently, she's upset that her husband's retirement party is being upstaged by a group of gay protesters.
Gay Protesters: We're here! We're queer! We want to get married on the ocean!
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
Lindsay: Good grief, Mother. Not all homosexuals are flamboy- Oh, my God! I have the exact same blouse.
Narrator: This is Michael's twin sister, Lindsay.
Lucille: I like it better on him.