‘Prison Break-In’
Season 3, Episode 7 - Aired December 12, 2005
As the family prepare for their annual fundraiser, they settle on a cause near and dear to Tobias. Meanwhile, Michael worries about the intentions of Warden Stefan Gentles (James Lipton) as he agrees to host the dinner at the prison.
Quote from Gob
Gob: This is heartbreaking. Got to get this for the video. Hey, George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt.
Quote from Maeby
Narrator: And Maeby was having a harder time finishing Warden Gentles' screenplay than he did.
Maeby: You're a reader. How'd you like to read something fun that we could talk about on the way to the prison gala?
George Michael: Oh, I'm actually going to sit that out. I'm just burnt out on prisons lately.
Maeby: Well, this might change your mind.
Buster: Is that a screenplay?
Maeby: Well, that's what you're going to tell me.
Quote from George Michael
Lindsay: You may not like it that Mom has needs, but it never bothered you when Dad was running around.
Michael: Well, that was different.
Lindsay: Well, how about when she was sleeping with Uncle Oscar?
Michael: The guy looks just like Dad. I don't know, he's family. It seemed very natural they'd be together.
George Michael: Ooh, what- What- What is natural? Is there new legislation on this now?
Narrator: George Michael was concerned about family love after reading Maeby's script, which he took as a subtle message to him from his cousin.
Quote from Buster
Narrator: Buster, meanwhile, was enjoying being with Oscar, but Oscar was longing for his sweet freedom.
Oscar: Say, you don't have any Sweet Freedom or Tropical Leaves, or any of the Hawaiian blends, do you? [whispers] Someone's coming!
Buster: Oh, get in the cage and hide behind the mirror, it'll look empty.
Narrator: Oscar never got a chance to hide behind the mirror. Although, it wasn't the first time he'd been knocked out by a powerful lid.
Quote from Lucille
Narrator: And that's when George Sr. got a call from Lucille.
Lucille: [on the phone] P-2-2-5-2.
George Sr.: Howdy doody, that's it. Now you get back here so you can smuggle me out past the guards before Michael starts blabbing.
Lucille: You know what? You can smuggle yourself out. You want to get away from me so bad, you're free. But I'm free, too, baby. I'm staying in the conjugal trailer with the warden tonight.
George Sr.: Him?
Quote from George Sr.
George Sr.: Where's Gentles?! I'll kill him!
Lucille: George?
Michael: Dad?
George Sr.: I can't let you do this! I can't let what we have, as lousy as it may be at times, be destroyed.
Lucille: This is where you escaped to? To prison? For me?
George Sr.: No one is breaking this family apart, no one.
Michael: You know what? I think I needed to hear that.