Lindsay: I see. Fine. I was gonna take her out for ice cream but if you'd rather stay here, well, that's just fine with me. [exits]
Maeby: We could go get some ice cream, Gangie. That would be fun, right?
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.

Buster: Where have you been?
George Michael: What?
Buster: I am like a caged animal. My old lady's on the floor, man. I am not s-ing around.

Michael: All right, Gob, is this gonna be believable? I want him scared. I love this kid.
Gob: Relax, Michael. These guys are pros. They're gonna push the tension to the last possible moment before they strip.
Michael: They're not going to strip, are they?
Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.
Michael: Unbelievable.
Gob: Trust me. It's gonna be totally real. This kind of thing goes on all the time out here. Boats wait offshore, lights are flashed. A guy comes over and drops off a bag. It's gonna freak the little bastard out.

George Michael: Uncle Gob?
Gob: George Michael. You weren't followed, were you?
George Michael: No, I don't think so.
Gob: All right, kid. Let's deal some drugs.
George Michael: What are you doin'?
Gob: Flashing the lights so the dealer knows what's goin' down. Now we wait.
George Michael: How long?
Gob: Who knows? An hour. Maybe five.

George Michael: What is this?
Michael: This is a lesson. And maybe I pushed you into this, but I love you too much to see you ruin your life with that crap.
George Michael: But it wasn't for me.
Michael: Then who was it for? Who? Give me a name.
George Michael: Okay, it was for me.
Michael: Yeah.
George Michael: I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.
Michael: Well, now you're looking at a nice big, fat punishment.

Lindsay: Back from your wonderful time with Gangie?
Maeby: Well, actually, it wasn't so wonderful. She can be kinda nasty. But I'll tell you somethin', I'm glad you're my mom. Oh, um, I got you something.
Lindsay: You're giving me this?
Maeby: You deserve it. I can't believe you had to put up with her your whole life.
Lindsay: [sighs] Honey, this is so sweet. Let's celebrate and go shopping.

Michael: You knew the whole time, didn't you?
George Michael: Kind of. One of the Hot Cops is my choir teacher.
Michael: Buddy, I'm sorry about all this. It's just you were so stressed out and I guess I got scared and I should learn to talk with you a little bit more, huh?
George Michael: I think we're okay.
Michael: We are, aren't we? I mean, you know there's nothing you can't be totally honest with me about. You can say anything to me, anything at all.
George Michael: Like, say, I had a crush on my own cousin.
Michael: Hey. [snorts] You just taught me a lesson. [chuckles]

Michael: Well, the bar for the refrigerator has been lowered, huh?
Lindsay: Oh, grades are meaningless. Maeby's last school didn't even have them.
Narrator: Back in Boston, Maeby's parents had enrolled her in a progressive school with its own system of evaluation.