‘Out on a Limb’
Season 2, Episode 11 - Aired March 6, 2005
Michael bumps into Maggie Lizer (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) eight and a half months after sleeping with her. Meanwhile, Buster learns he is being deployed to Iraq, and Maeby tries to help George Michael dump Ann.
Quote from George Michael
Ann: George Michael, you said that you couldn't come to church because you were working, and now you're doing neither? That's quite a lot of sins for a Sunday afternoon, don't you think?
Waiter: [to Maeby] Your virgin pina colada.
Ann: And now you're drinking?
George Michael: No. We're just having a little fun, you know.
Ann: I think the church and studying are fun. I thought you felt the same.
George Michael: Well, I do. I- I like not having fun. I like your idea of fun, I mean. Our idea of fun. I like not having that.
Ann: I'm going back to church.
Quote from Gob
Narrator: Gob met a woman one night. And after a series of escalating dares, married her.
Gob: Yes, but it's all coming back to me now. She was a seal dealer. She raised and sold seals to aquariums and marine parks, that sort of thing. Then she went off to fight her war and left me to look after them.
Narrator: It was while in the service that her penchant for daring found a natural outlet.
Michael: I've never known you to look after a seal.
Gob: Turns out it's a major hassle. Tried to include one in my act once. There's a reason you don't typically see live seals in a magic show.
[flashback to Gob performing at a children's birthday party:]
Gob: So with a simple wave of my- Oh, look-it over there.
[As Gob opens the trunk to feed the seal a fish, a cat jumps in there too]
Gob: Well, one of the Desperate Housewives looking so desperate.
Quote from Gob
Gob: So I released them from whence they came, and now she's stomping on my heart.
Michael: What's her first name? Quickly.
Gob: Krindy.
Michael: Name's not Krindy, Gob.
Gob: Ah, Saul Zentsman. No, that's her lawyer. Well, she's got a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is and then I'm gonna make a pun on it, and that's what I'll call her. Bad example: if her name's Amy, I'll call her Blamy.
Michael: That's a strong defense.
Quote from Lucille
Buster: So, I wanted you to have a recent picture of me because they want to ship me out tomorrow with army.
Oscar: What? To where?
Buster: Iraq. And I just might be out of options. I don't want to go, but they keep-
Lucille: I know what this is about. You want to go swimming in the ocean. Well, you can forget it.
Oscar: I don't think that's what this is about.
Lucille: Yes, it is. He's trying to punish me or something. Whatever happened to "Keepin' It Fresh"?
Buster: I was 30 years old then, Mother. I'm 32 now! And I'm not trying to teach you a lesson.
Lucille: Well, I may not have been a perfect mother. But, you know, kids don't come with a handbook.
Narrator: In fact, there are thousands of books written on child-rearing. But Lucille was in denial.
Lucille: If he wants to go swimming, let him.
Narrator: And Buster was far from ready to go swimming in the ocean.
Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn
Barry: Thank you so much for coming down here. I've got a big case. I'm representing Skip Church's restaurant.
Michael: I don't care.
Barry: A waitress that works there is claiming that by eating Skip's Scramble several times a week is making her a fatty.
Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn
Barry: Who's their lawyer?
Gob: Saul Zentsman. Do you know him?
Barry: I have Chinese with him every Friday night at Miss Temple's. He's tough.
Gob: I just want my wife back.
Barry: Hey, save it for the stand, okay, Tom Jane?
Gob: Fine.
Quote from Gob
Michael: Okay, l-I've done this wrong. I should've found out whether it was a real pregnancy before I told my dream girl about it.
Gob: You know what I do, Mike? Check their urine. Make 'em pee in a cup, and pee in a cup right in front of me.
Michael: Yeah, well, thanks, Gob. But, uh, I think we should just keep on lookin'. I don't know how I can make that sound like me.
Gob: So you get someone to break into her house, rig the toilet collect the pee, test it, and expose the lie. I mean, I'd do it, but I'm goin' through a divorce here, guy.
Quote from Michael
Lucille: I am done with Buster. He pushes my buttons. That's all he does.
Michael: He also zips you up and sands your elbows.
Lucille: Not anymore. No, no, no. He's pretending he's going to war. Mr. Big Shot. God knows what he's really doing.
Quote from Tobias
Tobias: You know, Mother Lucille there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
Quote from Maeby
Narrator: And Maeby saw a way to help her cousin.
Maeby: I know how to get rid of Ann. You put her in a room with Gangie. She'll criticize her away.
George Michael: But what would Gangie have to criticize about Ann?
Maeby: Oh, George Michael...