Michael Bluth Quotes Page 2 of 21
Quote from For British Eyes Only
Narrator: And that's when Michael saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Not her. Wait for it.
Michael: Are you from Wee Britain?
Rita: Great Britain, actually.
Michael: I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. I would pay you.
Rita: You'll pay me?
Michael: Not- Not for sex. You're going to think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? Didn't he kill prostitutes or?
Rita: I'm not a prostitute.
Michael: Then I shall let you live. [chuckles] This is my worst hello. Let me try again. My name is Michael.
Rita: Rita.
Michael: I need access to these files that are apparently for British eyes only.
Rita: Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British.
Quote from Notapusy
Lindsay: I mean, come on, I'm the nanny.
Michael: Of course. Who wouldn't want to snog the nanny?
Lindsay: Snog? Is that another one of your new British-isms?
Narrator: It was. Michael had recently fallen bum-over-noggin for a beautiful Englishwoman called Rita.
Michael: Did I say "snog" again? Oh, bloody hell.
Quote from Prison Break-In
Michael: Yeah, well, in any event, I'm here, Mom, because you need me. As you know, the Bluth Foundation dinner is a week away. I am your cochair, and we don't want to relive the "TBA" debacle.
[flashback:]
Narrator: Years earlier, the Bluths had a hard time agreeing on a cause for their foundation's first fund-raiser.
George Sr.: "Herpes." "Shrinkage." Somebody saw Seinfeld last night. "Neck flap." "Ovarian cancer." Gee, I wonder who that was. One more for neck flap.
Buster: Yes.
Lindsay: Well, I'll be honest, I haven't heard anything that beats herpes.
Narrator: So they sent out invitations with the disease still to be announced. And, much to their surprise, the Bluths ended up raising over $25,000 to fight "TBA." And then - and here's the really horrible part - they did it again the following year.
Gob: Keep fighting, little guy. With your support of the Bluth Foundation, we'll live in a galaxy where "TBA" does not exist.
Quote from Making a Stand
Michael: I will kill you!
Gob: I'm going to kill you!
George Sr.: You're going out of frame.
Gob: I will kill you!
[Michael screams as he falls off the balcony]
George Sr.: No!
Gob: Oh, my God! Michael! Dad, it was an accident! I'm so sorry.
Michael: And that's why you don't pit Gob and me against each other.
Quote from S.O.B.s
George Sr.: [on the phone] Instead of us all selling out and becoming housewives and waiters, why don't we have a big event? Some sort of "save our Bluths" type thing. We'll throw a legal defense fund dinner. Ask for donations.
Lucille: As long as we don't look desperate. We want them to think we'll take their help, but we don't need it. I should be seen a lot at the club.
Michael: Yeah, our backs are against the wall, it's just hard to accept that it's really come to begging.
George Sr.: Some times it's the only way to stay in the game.
Narrator: Please tell your friends about this show.
Quote from Exit Strategy
Michael: And so you just finished off the bottle?
Lindsay: Well, I had to. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened.
Michael: I think that's another one of Mom's little fibs. You know, like "I'll sacrifice anything for my children."
Quote from Development Arrested
Michael: Let's see if we are on Mad Money, huh?
Woman: [on TV] And they deliver insulin right to my door!
Michael: It's probably on right after this ad. This is going to be great for us, too. It's going to give us a chance to spend some time together, you know? It's like I don't even know what's going on in your life right now. Are there any girls or...?
George Michael: Actually I've been wrestling with some pretty taboo-
Michael: Shh-shh. Here it is!
Jim Cramer: [on TV] They beat the treason charges! We had it as a "Don't buy." Let's bump it up to a "Risky!"
Michael: Risky! There it is!
Quote from Development Arrested
Narrator: And the two grand ladies made their escape together.
Police Officer: Lucille Bluth, please pull over and step away from the historic ship.
Michael: I think Gangie's trying to make a break for it.
George Michael: Well, I guess we should go back. Family sticks together, huh?
Michael: Yeah. On the other hand, we do have a full tank of gas, a house in Cabo, and 500 grand in cashier's checks. What say we give them no choice but to keep themselves all together for a while?
Quote from Family Leave
Michael: So, I have no idea where she is, but, uh, my mother is at Austerity. It's a rehab clinic.
Lt. Toddler: Actually, we checked the rehab and your mother wasn't there.
Narrator: Actually, when Lucille 2 first went missing, Lucille 1 took the opportunity to compel her therapist to change her status from in to outpatient, bypassing both the Austerity Clinic's red tape as well as its security tape.
Lt. Toddler: And she was remanded to the care of your brother-in-law, Tobias Funghi?
Michael: F-
Lt. Toddler: You don't happen to know the license plate of the car he drives, do you?
Michael: His license plate number? No, I don't. I barely know my own license plate number, much less my brother-in... It's A-N-U-S and then for some reason T-A-R-T.
Lt. Toddler: "A new start."
Michael: Well, if you saw it written out, I don't think that you would... Let me try this one on you. A-N-A-L-R-A-P...
Quote from Taste Makers
Michael: Look, you know, this was our dream, right? To work together? Do you remember all the dreaming we did?
George Michael: Yeah.
Michael: Have lunch together. Work out in the late afternoon.
George Michael: That's right, we were gonna put a weight room in the back office.
Michael: You know it, yeah. Drive home together, shower up, grab dinner, PJs on, teeth brushed.
George Michael: A little TV.
Michael: A little bit of TV, sure, and then a little kiss good night and off to bed. You know, I am just realizing that I'm still picturing you as a ten-year-old.
George Michael: I think I was mainly trying to engineer a way to stay up late and watch The Tom Green Show.
Michael: Mm, yeah, see, I don't get the new guys.
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